有哪位好心人能帮我看一下这篇专四的作文啊,急用

有哪位好心人能帮我看一下这篇专四的作文啊,急用
Patience is a vietue
There is a growing realization that patience plays an important role on the way to one's success.When it comes to the influence of patience,some people may say that the patience is a good quality for us while the rest hold the opposite view.However,I argue that,patience is a crucial quality in all our lives.
There are a large number of reasons that can give an account of my argument.Firstly,patience would bring more chance success to yourself.If you can't endure the burden to wait for the success patiently,you will never become more mature.Secondly,patience will let you know how to keep a harmonious relationship between you and others in the society.To take an instance,I will tell you about my experience in the hospital.Every time I go to see the doctors in the hospital,I will find there is always some quarrels between patients and doctors,Why?As I'm concerned,it's largely because these doctors couldn't face patients properly.They always take an impatient attitude towards the sick people and can not handle their relationships.From this example,we could come to a conclusion that patience is an important factor in the interpersonal relationship.
From what have been mentioned above ,it's wiser for us to maintain a quality of patience in the modern competition.If we ignore it ,more and more failure would come to us continuously.
如果可以的话，再顺便帮我打个分数吧，满分是一百分，

93!