帮忙修改雅思作文,纠正语法错误,最好能给个分.

帮忙修改雅思作文,纠正语法错误,最好能给个分.
Some people say politicians promote the development of society.However,others believe that it is scientists who have more influence on the world.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A
There are many political issues and scientific researches published in both local and international newspapers.Politicians and scientists always have strong influence on people and their lives.Recently,whether politicians or scientists have more impact on the world has become a popular topic in public.In this essay,both views will be discussed.Personally,I believe a good cooperation between politicians and scientists can make a brighten world.
It is undeniable that politicians have been playing a crucial role on the development of society.Their political strategies have always been being important to public.For example,during the recent financial recession,the Chinese politicians used the governmental power and did the macroeconomic control through the Reserve Bank to combat the downturn of the global economy.In addition,politicians have tremendous influence on the quality of people’s life.The decision of financial budgets for basic infrastructures and Medicare of citizens,are cases in point.Therefore,good politicians can develop a better society multidimensionally.
On the other hand,the fact that the development of the world cannot leave scientists is undoubted.As we all know,new advanced technology has brought people numerous benefits.Technology has great impact on both global economy and the living standard of human beings.The advancement of machinery and automation has made people’s life more convenient and has increased enormous physical labour force that can replace human beings.The progress of transportation is another case in point.Furthermore,scientists can also help people fight diseases.The well known anti-HIV ‘Cocktail’ therapy could be another fine example that illustrates how scientists are important to the world.
In conclusion,the efforts from politicians and scientists are both very vital to the world.A better integration of both parties is especially significant for the future development of society.

make a brighten world错误,brighten为动词,这里要改为形容词；
play a role on the development介词错误,应为in；
have been being important结构错误,去掉being,直接用现在完成时.have been doing为现在完成进行时,指一直在进行的动作或延续性的状态.动词be不用于这种时态；
are cases in point的主语为decision,主谓一致错误.根据意思,将decision改为复数比较合适；
the development of the world cannot leave scientists是很明显的汉式英语“世界的发展离不开科学家”,可以这样表示：the world cannot develop without scientists；
have an impact/influence/effect on中的冠词最好加上,或者给名词加上复数形式；
make people's life more convenient最好改为make life more convenient for people；
that illustrates how scientists are important to the world可以不要,有重复啰嗦之嫌；
再问： Their political strategies have always been being important to public. 改成 have always been doing important感觉怪怪的。。能在帮忙改改这句话么？
再答： 哈哈，我没说到位，这句把being去掉就行了，直接说have been important。我刚才后面的解释说告诉你现在完成进行时的用法。
再问： 如楼下的说法，请问老师能帮忙看看，第三段还能怎么改改不？就是避免句型单一性。。。不好意思，麻烦了。。
再答： 作为写作训练，不要过于追求完美。首先要考虑能表达出来，其次考虑表达的地道和准确，再次考虑篇章的整体结构和布局，最后才考虑文采。如果你自己已经觉得哪些语句表达太过于单一，说明你已经具备了一定的判别能力，不妨自己改改。技巧之一就是化整为零，将某个句子单独处理，用不同的方法翻译。写作也不完全是写出来的，更多的是要诵读佼好的文章，形成语言的感觉和英语的思维。