雅思作文求批改,最好能给个分数,

雅思作文求批改,最好能给个分数,
Asglobal trade increases,many goods,including some daily goods,are exported toother countries.Such goods are usually transported over long distances duringshipping.Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?
正文：
As global businessbecomes an inevitable part of modern commerce,people skeptical argue of itsworthiness.This essay will discuss both its advantages and disadvantages thengive my own opinion.
Undoubtedly,wegain much benefits from global commerce,as no single country ,under moderncircumstance,can produce all sorts of goods.Actually,some products are acore competitiveness of a certain company or a country,therefore,other countriesmay never copy it but just consume through global trade,such as Apple’s Iphoneor AirBus’s aircraft.Among the benefits of enjoying such imported goodsthrough global trade is the diversity in commodities.What is more ,transporting goods from its origin to a destination would make considerable jobopportunities,which could be a good solution to domestic unemployment anddevelop national economy to some extent.It is imperative that the frequency of tradenecessitates more transportation facilities such as ships,planes and cars.Futhermore,facilities in order to guarantee fulfillment of a trade need to beconstructed,thus,it is certainly a promotion to nations infrastructuredevelopment.
Nevertheless,defectsof global trade should not be ignored.In terms of transportation,is it worth deliveringsuch goods from that far?Long distance transportation means a plenty ofpetroleum consumption which will later lead to scarcity of resources.As manykinds of the products exported are of low-technology,it will be an emmensesacrifice for nations as natural resources will dwindle and terrible pollutionof the environment by factories will emerge if there are no environmentalprotection methods.
My conclusion isthat exportation as an aspectof global trade is indispensable nowadays.Statesshould advocate manufactures to produce more high added value products asexported goods .Only in this way,can a country share a flourishing globaltrade and indeed benefit from it.

应该20分吧
再问： ……满分是9
再答： 应该7分吧