要做英语作文,请大神帮我润色一下这篇英语文章,下面是现在作文的评分

要做英语作文,请大神帮我润色一下这篇英语文章,下面是现在作文的评分
   Last Thursday,I went toEnglish corner with my friends firstly.What a wonderful experience and I wouldlike to share it with you next.
   When I came into theclassroom,I saw a man who wears a black mask holding an opaque bag.Except forhim,there were also another two teachers.One was an enchanting woman,who wassitting on the table.The other was an old man with white bread who I saw insome charity activity.I said hello to him .when I sit down,surprisingly,themystery man took out some candies from his bag to me.I expressed gratitude tohim.
   Firstly,we played aninteresting game.One of the foreign teachers showed us some cards with Englishwords on them.By his guidance,we stuck the cards on our forehead withoutknowing what it was written.Then they asked us to choose a partner freely andguessed the vocabulary with each other.I cooperated with the mystery teacherwho had dropped off the mask.I firstly asked him,is it food?He said no.Next,I asked whether it is in the classroom.He nodded kindly.The talkcontinued for a few minutes without any progress.Lastly,I had no choice butto ask for some hints .He reminded me that it is usual in American primaryschool,while it is absent in Chinese classroom.Finally,I gave up and seen itwhere Flag was written on it.
   When the game was over,wechatted with foreign teachers in groups.They asked about our major.My majoris psychology.About psychology,we talked for a long time.He said seeingpsychologist in Americais common and expensive.It is a good idea if I intended to earn considerablemoney in America.But I explained that my English is not good enough to do it.He advisedhumorously why not find a foreign boyfriend which aroused laughter.Dreams werediscussed too.When asked what my dream is,I answered that my dream is earningenough money to travel around the world and when I am old,farming is also agood choice.We also talked about many other topics,such as our traditionalfestivals and traveling experience.
 My first interculturalcommunication experience is so meaningful and I know more about the differencebetween America and China.In a world,the most essential is that I break out of shyness and show myself bravely.

Last Thursday,I went toEnglish corner with my friends firstly.What a wonderful experience and I wouldlike to share it with you next.
When I came into theclassroom,I saw a man who wears a black mask holding an opaque bag.Except forhim,there were also another two teachers.One was an enchanting woman,who wassitting on the table.The other was an old man with white bread who I saw insome charity activity.I said hello to him .when I sit down,surprisingly,themystery man took out some candies from his bag to me.I expressed gratitude tohim.
Firstly,we played aninteresting game.One of the foreign teachers showed us some cards with Englishwords on them.By his guidance,we stuck the cards on our forehead withoutknowing what it was written.Then they asked us to choose a partner freely andguessed the vocabulary with each other.I cooperated with the mystery teacherwho had dropped off the mask.I firstly asked him,is it food?He said no.Next,I asked whether it is in the classroom.He nodded kindly.The talkcontinued for a few minutes without any progress.Lastly,I had no choice butto ask for some hints .He reminded me that it is usual in American primaryschool,while it is absent in Chinese classroom.Finally,I gave up and seen itwhere Flag was written on it.
When the game was over,wechatted with foreign teachers in groups.They asked about our major.My majoris psychology.About psychology,we talked for a long time.He said seeingpsychologist in Americais common and expensive.It is a good idea if I intended to earn considerablemoney in America.But I explained that my English is not good enough to do it.He advisedhumorously why not find a foreign boyfriend which aroused laughter.Dreams werediscussed too.When asked what my dream is,I answered that my dream is earningenough money to travel around the world and when I am old,farming is also agood choice.We also talked about many other topics,such as our traditionalfestivals and traveling experience.
My first interculturalcommunication experience is so meaningful and I know more about the differencebetween America and China.In a world,the most essential is that I break out of shyness and show myself bravely.
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