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雅思作文,请问大家看看我能拿多少分.

来源:学生作业帮 编辑:作业帮 分类:综合作业 时间:2024/05/16 13:44:23
雅思作文,请问大家看看我能拿多少分.
关于人们频繁换工作,你觉得造成的原因和你的建议
To pursue a more suitable situation and a better life,people love to change their ways to adapt the social context.Consequently,the phenomenon of job-hopping is common and aroused some discussions which we cannot reach a consent answer.
However,existence has its reasons.People change their jobs attributing to some factors,for example,the unbearable working atmosphere,the miserable salary,the unfriendly colleagues and the tough future.But most importantly,the main reason that causes this phenomenon is the rapid change of the society; therefore,people should shift their working strategies or job more frequently to cater the needs of society.Moreover,the view of changing the jobs seems to be more accessible by both employers and employees nowadays as the relationship between them is not as stable as before.The day people emphasis on the loyalty has long gone because clerks now pay more attention to the welfares and the salary while bosses more consider how many profits the employers can bring.Furthermore,employers not regard the loyalty but the competence as the reason of promotion.
Despite this changes are unavoidable,manages can do some efforts to improve the relationships and remain the good subordinates.They can build up a harmonious working atmosphere to all the members of the company.Not only can this reduce the conflicts between them but also can let the working groups more cohesive and efficient.Also,they can develop the culture of the company as it will make the clerks perceive the sense of company identity.
6分吧,逻辑上一般,你可以尝试用不同的证明方式(归纳法,举例法,反证法)来详细化你的论点,词汇还是可以的,句型上要加强.文章结构我觉得原因这部分分两段写会好一点,这篇文章最大的问题在于你举得原因1和原因2有点重复的倾向,而且你给的建议只针对于你的原因3.高分的作文往往就好在论点和文章结构上.