作业帮英语的阅读
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/05/09 18:43:14
英语的阅读
1 网上找了几个笑话,挑几个好笑的
Too Fast or Too Slow
A man was driving at 130 miles an hour when a policeman overtook him.
"Was I driving too fast,officer?"the man asked.
"NO,"the policeman answered,"You were flying too slow."
太慢或太快
一个男人正在以130英里每小时的速度行驶,当一个警察看见他时,
他问：“我开的太快了吗?警官.”
“不”,警察说,“你飞的太慢了.”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说. “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的.”
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似；类似
18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师.一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝.
“是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她.
“我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝.”那孩子回答说.
“那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道.
“哦,老师,就像你的头发一样.”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头. 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式.
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲.
“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头.”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车.接近门口,一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来,没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚,仰面滑倒了.她的惯性使她接近了我的脚.我正准备扶她,她却自己爬了起来.她镇定了一下,对我挤了一下眉,说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”
英语笑话（一）
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小.但除此之外呢,那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤,而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子.这个答案很有意思吧?
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物,他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼,他会更生气.Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”,也有“鸡眼”的意思.
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子,所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的.你说呢?
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语,你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀!因为除了这个意思以外,它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面.
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢?最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉.虽然这不是治疗方法,但如果让梦游者醒着呢,他的确就不会去梦游了.
英语笑话（二）
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人.
-- 他真是一个大人物.干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人.
英语笑话（三）
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元.在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假.
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票.这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的.”
英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦,
亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人：没有用的,我的小狗不认识字.”
英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员,
这个龙虾只有一只爪.
-- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了.
-- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧.
英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了.他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃.门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开.”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊.天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答.
A Useful Way
Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?
Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.
Father: What’s that got to do with it?
Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.
中文：
爸爸：杰克,你干嘛喝这么多水呀?
杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果,爸爸.
爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?
杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀.
2 找了几个英语绕口令
英语写作之绕口令Tongue Twisters
1.She sells seashells on the seashore. The seashells she sells are seashore seashells.
2.No need to light a night light on a light night like tonight.
3.The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.
4.You know New York, you need new York.
You know you need unique new York.
5.A big black bug bit a big black bear and made the big black bear bleed blood.
6.Fresh fried fish, Fish fresh fried, Fried fish fresh, Fish fried fresh.•
7.Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,a peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
8.How many good cookies could a good cook cook if a good cook could cook as many good cookies as a good cook could cook?
9.How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
if a wooodchuck could chuck wood?
A woodchuck would chuck all the wood a woodchuck could chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
10.Great Greek grape growers grow great
Greek grapes, but the Greeks do not eat the grapes the great Greek grape growers grow.
11.That black lad was very sad because his dad had died in a bad accident in a factory.
12.The eggs he sells everyday are better than everybody else sells.
13. Ten tiny tigers tied ten tiny ties on their tiny tails.
5. A noise annoys an oyster, but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more!
6. Ann and Andy's anniversary is in April.
7. Bake big batches of bitter brown bread.
8. Big black bugs bleed blue black blood but baby black bugs bleed blue blood.
9. Black background, brown background.
10. Blake's black bike's back brake bracket block broke.
11. Blue glue gun, green glue gun.
12. Caution: Wide Right Turns
13. Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.
14. Elizabeth has eleven elves in her elm tree.
15. Elizabeth's birthday is on the third Thursday of this month.
16. Fresh fried fish, Fish fresh fried, Fried fish fresh, Fish fried fresh.
17. Freshly fried fresh flesh
18. Green glass globes glow greenly.
19. He threw three balls.
20. He threw three free throws.
21. Here's an easy game to play. Here's an easy thing to say:
23. How may saws could a see-saw saw if a see-saw could saw saws?
24. How much oil boil can a gum boil boil if a gum boil can boil oil?
25. I thought a thought. But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
26. I wish I were what I was when I wished I were what I am.
27. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
28. I wish you were a fish in my dish
29. If two witches would watch two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
30. If you notice this notice, you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.
31. It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in!
32. Little red lorry
33. Miss Smith's fish-sauce shop seldom sells shellfish.
34. Never trouble about trouble until trouble troubles you!
35. Nothing is worth thousands of deaths.
36. Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut Butter. Peter Pan Peanut is the peanut picky people pick.
37. Ripe white wheat reapers reap ripe white wheat right.
38. She said she should sit.
40. Shut up the shutters and sit in the shop.
41. Silly sheep weep and sleep.
42. Six shining cities, six shining cities, six shining cities.
43. Six sick sea-serpents swam the seven seas.
44. Six sleek swans swam swiftly southwards
45. Stupid superstition!
46. The batter with the butter is the batter that is better!
47. The great Greek grape growers grow great Greek grapes.
48. The soldier's shoulder surely hurts!
49. There those thousand thinkers were thinking how did the other three thieves go through.
50. There's a sandwich on the sand which was sent by a sane witch.
51. Two tiny tigers take two taxis to town.
52. Very well, very well, very well ...
53. What noise annoys an oyster most? A noisy noise annoys an oyster most.
54. Willie's really weary.
Too Fast or Too Slow
A man was driving at 130 miles an hour when a policeman overtook him.
"Was I driving too fast,officer?"the man asked.
"NO,"the policeman answered,"You were flying too slow."
太慢或太快
一个男人正在以130英里每小时的速度行驶,当一个警察看见他时,
他问：“我开的太快了吗?警官.”
“不”,警察说,“你飞的太慢了.”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说. “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的.”
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似；类似
18.鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师.一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝.
“是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她.
“我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝.”那孩子回答说.
“那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道.
“哦,老师,就像你的头发一样.”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头. 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式.
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲.
“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头.”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车.接近门口,一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来,没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚,仰面滑倒了.她的惯性使她接近了我的脚.我正准备扶她,她却自己爬了起来.她镇定了一下,对我挤了一下眉,说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”
英语笑话（一）
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小.但除此之外呢,那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤,而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子.这个答案很有意思吧?
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物,他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼,他会更生气.Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”,也有“鸡眼”的意思.
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子,所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的.你说呢?
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语,你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀!因为除了这个意思以外,它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面.
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢?最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉.虽然这不是治疗方法,但如果让梦游者醒着呢,他的确就不会去梦游了.
英语笑话（二）
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人.
-- 他真是一个大人物.干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人.
英语笑话（三）
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元.在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假.
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票.这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的.”
英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦,
亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人：没有用的,我的小狗不认识字.”
英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员,
这个龙虾只有一只爪.
-- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了.
-- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧.
英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了.他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃.门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开.”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊.天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答.
A Useful Way
Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?
Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.
Father: What’s that got to do with it?
Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.
中文：
爸爸：杰克,你干嘛喝这么多水呀?
杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果,爸爸.
爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?
杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀.
2 找了几个英语绕口令
英语写作之绕口令Tongue Twisters
1.She sells seashells on the seashore. The seashells she sells are seashore seashells.
2.No need to light a night light on a light night like tonight.
3.The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.
4.You know New York, you need new York.
You know you need unique new York.
5.A big black bug bit a big black bear and made the big black bear bleed blood.
6.Fresh fried fish, Fish fresh fried, Fried fish fresh, Fish fried fresh.•
7.Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,a peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
8.How many good cookies could a good cook cook if a good cook could cook as many good cookies as a good cook could cook?
9.How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
if a wooodchuck could chuck wood?
A woodchuck would chuck all the wood a woodchuck could chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
10.Great Greek grape growers grow great
Greek grapes, but the Greeks do not eat the grapes the great Greek grape growers grow.
11.That black lad was very sad because his dad had died in a bad accident in a factory.
12.The eggs he sells everyday are better than everybody else sells.
13. Ten tiny tigers tied ten tiny ties on their tiny tails.
5. A noise annoys an oyster, but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more!
6. Ann and Andy's anniversary is in April.
7. Bake big batches of bitter brown bread.
8. Big black bugs bleed blue black blood but baby black bugs bleed blue blood.
9. Black background, brown background.
10. Blake's black bike's back brake bracket block broke.
11. Blue glue gun, green glue gun.
12. Caution: Wide Right Turns
13. Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.
14. Elizabeth has eleven elves in her elm tree.
15. Elizabeth's birthday is on the third Thursday of this month.
16. Fresh fried fish, Fish fresh fried, Fried fish fresh, Fish fried fresh.
17. Freshly fried fresh flesh
18. Green glass globes glow greenly.
19. He threw three balls.
20. He threw three free throws.
21. Here's an easy game to play. Here's an easy thing to say:
23. How may saws could a see-saw saw if a see-saw could saw saws?
24. How much oil boil can a gum boil boil if a gum boil can boil oil?
25. I thought a thought. But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
26. I wish I were what I was when I wished I were what I am.
27. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
28. I wish you were a fish in my dish
29. If two witches would watch two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
30. If you notice this notice, you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.
31. It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in!
32. Little red lorry
33. Miss Smith's fish-sauce shop seldom sells shellfish.
34. Never trouble about trouble until trouble troubles you!
35. Nothing is worth thousands of deaths.
36. Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut Butter. Peter Pan Peanut is the peanut picky people pick.
37. Ripe white wheat reapers reap ripe white wheat right.
38. She said she should sit.
40. Shut up the shutters and sit in the shop.
41. Silly sheep weep and sleep.
42. Six shining cities, six shining cities, six shining cities.
43. Six sick sea-serpents swam the seven seas.
44. Six sleek swans swam swiftly southwards
45. Stupid superstition!
46. The batter with the butter is the batter that is better!
47. The great Greek grape growers grow great Greek grapes.
48. The soldier's shoulder surely hurts!
49. There those thousand thinkers were thinking how did the other three thieves go through.
50. There's a sandwich on the sand which was sent by a sane witch.
51. Two tiny tigers take two taxis to town.
52. Very well, very well, very well ...
53. What noise annoys an oyster most? A noisy noise annoys an oyster most.
54. Willie's really weary.