作业帮雅思修改作文及打分~这是我第一篇作文.
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：作业帮 分类：综合作业 时间：2024/05/17 23:11:22
雅思修改作文及打分~这是我第一篇作文.
topic：100529 Many young people leave schools with a negative attitude.Why does this happen?What do you think can encourage young people to have a positive attitude?
In the contemporary,the human race is advancing at a staggering rate in a host of arenas.However,a multitude of young people are confronted with the employment pressure.An investigation which is conducted by the Chinese Academy of Society Sciences revealed that over two thirds of the young people were exerted influence on a negative attitude.For this reason,it is imperative that we ascertain the cause of this phenomenon and seek the effective solutions.
In my eyes,the cause of the youth has a passive attitude when they leave campus are mainifold.First of all,it is generally that a multitude of students are not interested in their majors.To illustrate,over the past ten years,due to the requirement for accounting is proliferated,an increasing number of students start to learn accounting no matter whether they love it.Further,there is no doubt that the course arrangement is not scientific and the course implementation is not suitable.Obviously,it exerts a negative influence on the quality of education.Finally,some youth are quite lazy and that is the reason why they do not have a positive attitude when they graduate from schools.For instance,many of them who always stay in dormitories play computer games or chat on the Internet.
Given the severity shortage above,we have no opinion but to take stringent measures to address this problem.To begin with,it is essential that students should comprehend their majors deeply.More specifically,teachers in all schools should explain each subject clearly.Then,only the course setting be well arranged can attract students’ interest.Apparently,the course arrangement plays a pivotal role in studying.Last but not least,it is imperative that students should correctitude their learning attitudes.Indeed,the word being hard,struggle is the only way out.
To conclude,cause of the youth has a passive attitude when they graduate from schools are multiple.Therefore,we should take effective steps,including major selection,course setting and students’ attitudes.
topic：100529 Many young people leave schools with a negative attitude.Why does this happen?What do you think can encourage young people to have a positive attitude?
In the contemporary,the human race is advancing at a staggering rate in a host of arenas.However,a multitude of young people are confronted with the employment pressure.An investigation which is conducted by the Chinese Academy of Society Sciences revealed that over two thirds of the young people were exerted influence on a negative attitude.For this reason,it is imperative that we ascertain the cause of this phenomenon and seek the effective solutions.
In my eyes,the cause of the youth has a passive attitude when they leave campus are mainifold.First of all,it is generally that a multitude of students are not interested in their majors.To illustrate,over the past ten years,due to the requirement for accounting is proliferated,an increasing number of students start to learn accounting no matter whether they love it.Further,there is no doubt that the course arrangement is not scientific and the course implementation is not suitable.Obviously,it exerts a negative influence on the quality of education.Finally,some youth are quite lazy and that is the reason why they do not have a positive attitude when they graduate from schools.For instance,many of them who always stay in dormitories play computer games or chat on the Internet.
Given the severity shortage above,we have no opinion but to take stringent measures to address this problem.To begin with,it is essential that students should comprehend their majors deeply.More specifically,teachers in all schools should explain each subject clearly.Then,only the course setting be well arranged can attract students’ interest.Apparently,the course arrangement plays a pivotal role in studying.Last but not least,it is imperative that students should correctitude their learning attitudes.Indeed,the word being hard,struggle is the only way out.
To conclude,cause of the youth has a passive attitude when they graduate from schools are multiple.Therefore,we should take effective steps,including major selection,course setting and students’ attitudes.
1 were exerted influence on 模板吗?语法不对啊!
2 the cause of the youth has a passive attitude when they leave campus are mainifold 这明显意思不一致啊.
3 it is generally that 谁教的?
4 To illustrate,over the past ten years,due to the requirement for accounting is proliferated,an increasing number of students start to learn accounting no matter whether they love it.结果呢?怎么没有下文了呢?
5 Obviously,it exerts a negative influence on the quality of education.类似模板型的句子,一点都不实在?真的是显而易见的吗?这样的句子,放到哪里都能说,不具有充分的论述性.
6 Given the severity shortage above,we have no opinion but to take stringent measures to address this problem 这是地道的模板!与你真正的语言能力不符合,所以考官会不喜欢.
7 下面的就不看了,文章模板风格很重,很多百度里批作文的同学,模板风格都很重,是别人教的,还是自己学的呢?（期待你告诉我）.总之,作文是一种想法的表达,不是模板,词汇,句式的堆砌.而且你的作文论述性不强,即对于观点的解释性不强,不令人信服.你可能觉得很好,但就是走的模式化思路,没有意思.真的没有意思.
8 最多5.5,跟楼上一样,上不了6!
2 the cause of the youth has a passive attitude when they leave campus are mainifold 这明显意思不一致啊.
3 it is generally that 谁教的?
4 To illustrate,over the past ten years,due to the requirement for accounting is proliferated,an increasing number of students start to learn accounting no matter whether they love it.结果呢?怎么没有下文了呢?
5 Obviously,it exerts a negative influence on the quality of education.类似模板型的句子,一点都不实在?真的是显而易见的吗?这样的句子,放到哪里都能说,不具有充分的论述性.
6 Given the severity shortage above,we have no opinion but to take stringent measures to address this problem 这是地道的模板!与你真正的语言能力不符合,所以考官会不喜欢.
7 下面的就不看了,文章模板风格很重,很多百度里批作文的同学,模板风格都很重,是别人教的,还是自己学的呢?（期待你告诉我）.总之,作文是一种想法的表达,不是模板,词汇,句式的堆砌.而且你的作文论述性不强,即对于观点的解释性不强,不令人信服.你可能觉得很好,但就是走的模式化思路,没有意思.真的没有意思.
8 最多5.5,跟楼上一样,上不了6!