作业帮帮我雅思作文打分!请加以点评!
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：作业帮 分类：综合作业 时间：2024/05/17 22:38:39
帮我雅思作文打分!请加以点评!
Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn the children into good citizens and workers,rather than to benefit them as individuals.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
I tend to agree with the view that schools take the responsibility of educating our kids to be good residents and employees.It is the true that no matter what circumstances we are under.Meanwhile,it seems that in the long run,this initiative would benefit the society as a whole.
(51 words)
First of all,this initiative would contribute to encouraging collective awareness.We can imagine,if each individual is educated to work hard and be a responsible one,then many problems existing now such as environmental problems,energy insufficiency,would be resolved in a reasonable way.Of course,this does not mean that personal welfare is not important.We should certainly take care of it.However,this must give the priority to public benefits.Only the whole society would be safe and peaceful,would each individual enjoy his or her colorful life.
(91 words)
In addition,we also need to better understand that this view would promote the progress of modern technologies.For example,from the electricity to the television all the way,every achievement of modern technology comes from people’s hard work.Another example is that we can easily do online shopping just sitting at home.Without these ‘good citizens and workers’,these advances would not be available to us,not to mention personal welfare.On the other hand,too much emphasizing individual benefit would make us selfish.To some extent,it would harm our society and anyone else.We certainly can not afford it.
(102 words)
Above all,there is no doubt that our kids should be taught to be good residents and employees.Rather than take care of themselves,they should learn to care about the society and other people around them.
(37 words)
(281 words)
Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn the children into good citizens and workers,rather than to benefit them as individuals.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
I tend to agree with the view that schools take the responsibility of educating our kids to be good residents and employees.It is the true that no matter what circumstances we are under.Meanwhile,it seems that in the long run,this initiative would benefit the society as a whole.
(51 words)
First of all,this initiative would contribute to encouraging collective awareness.We can imagine,if each individual is educated to work hard and be a responsible one,then many problems existing now such as environmental problems,energy insufficiency,would be resolved in a reasonable way.Of course,this does not mean that personal welfare is not important.We should certainly take care of it.However,this must give the priority to public benefits.Only the whole society would be safe and peaceful,would each individual enjoy his or her colorful life.
(91 words)
In addition,we also need to better understand that this view would promote the progress of modern technologies.For example,from the electricity to the television all the way,every achievement of modern technology comes from people’s hard work.Another example is that we can easily do online shopping just sitting at home.Without these ‘good citizens and workers’,these advances would not be available to us,not to mention personal welfare.On the other hand,too much emphasizing individual benefit would make us selfish.To some extent,it would harm our society and anyone else.We certainly can not afford it.
(102 words)
Above all,there is no doubt that our kids should be taught to be good residents and employees.Rather than take care of themselves,they should learn to care about the society and other people around them.
(37 words)
(281 words)
我也在准备雅思考试,以前写好的雅思作文不知道该找谁来修改,后来有同学向我推荐新东方批改网,你可以把你写的作文在线提交上去,然后会有专业的老师帮你批改作文,然后给出详细的修改意见,还给出评分,这让我知道了我作文中的不足,对我提高作文水平帮助挺大的!把这个网站也推荐给你,希望大家一起进步!