给点评一下英文作文 很久前写的...

给点评一下英文作文 很久前写的...
17.Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher.Others think that it is always better to have a teacher.Which do you prefer?Use specific reasons to develop your essay.
In human’s life,no one can avoid being taught by others.When we were little babies,we need our parents teaching to develop in a right way.But in some cases,learn by oneself may be better.Because sometimes we need solve problems alone.Also thinking alone is a good way to solve problems and it will make our minds stronger.So in my opinion,learn things from others and learn by ourselves are both important.
When I was a child,I hardly had ability to deal with the problems I faced.Furthermore I was not able to know how to learn new skills like washing dishes,folding quits and a lot of school knowledge.So I need teachers and some teacher-like people to teach me.During that period,taught by a teacher is better way to know more and learn fast.By the way,teachers can teach us how to learn better when we learn by ourselves.
On the other hand,people may feel upset when they are taught by others.Learning by themselves is better when they possess the ability of learning without others help.So in this case,only one person may be the best choice to study.My friend Tom,for example,is a high school students.He used to learning or studying in a group.But before long he told me that he had found a more efficient way to learn new things which is learn by himself.Tom thought that he was not a baby who needs others help,but he had grown up and without teacher he also can learn a lot of knowledge and skills.During last summer vacation instead of applying for extra classes out of school,he chose study at home and learn by himself.After the holiday he came back to school and got a good grade in the first-day-test.
So I have to say both way to learn are equal important.It depends on ages.Young children need teacher to teach them and elder people do not have to get a teacher,they can do it by themselves.Learning is a long way to walk,no one can reach the end.I suggest that people should find a correct way to help them learn better.

有较多的语法错误,例如时态,动词短语的使用,介词的使用
行文不够流畅,中文翻译迹象明显,表达形式单一,没有高级词汇的运用
（ps如果你是高中生的话,就要努力了）
再问： 这是两年前的作文。。。有点老...不过 你说的各种错误 我自己只看出来2处啊... ...for instance?