作业帮Help!请英语大神帮忙检查下雅思作文
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：作业帮 分类：综合作业 时间：2024/05/09 12:38:04
Help!请英语大神帮忙检查下雅思作文
小弟英语菜鸟一枚,刚用了39分钟写了篇雅思英语大作文,来自剑桥9,test2.求大神给检查下.
Education had been became a discussion that the whole world focus on it.Nowdaws,there are some advices about hight school students should be imposed participation in unpaid community service.This is a good thing that service to younger children,but i think that people should have enough right to decide thing they want to do by own.
Children aways are a key point for society,and they are lower power than adult,so they need more help by society,especially children who in a diffcult condition such as in poor and violence.Because of this reason,some people want high students to help these children who needing helped.In fact,this action not only contuibute to help those diffcult younger children,but also to develop the student's abilities that dealing with different thing,interacting with other people,cooporating with other individuals.
Participating in this social service is no doubt that would bo benefited to society and individual,but i thing that it should not become a compulsory activity.Every people should have free and right to do the thing they want to do,and this activity should be decided weather wanting help other people by themselves,but is imposed by any one or any institution.
Overall,my own opinion is that alrough the unpaid community service is benefitd for society and individual,but if people want to do should be depended on a person's own will.Because the right and free of people is very important thing to our life
小弟英语菜鸟一枚,刚用了39分钟写了篇雅思英语大作文,来自剑桥9,test2.求大神给检查下.
Education had been became a discussion that the whole world focus on it.Nowdaws,there are some advices about hight school students should be imposed participation in unpaid community service.This is a good thing that service to younger children,but i think that people should have enough right to decide thing they want to do by own.
Children aways are a key point for society,and they are lower power than adult,so they need more help by society,especially children who in a diffcult condition such as in poor and violence.Because of this reason,some people want high students to help these children who needing helped.In fact,this action not only contuibute to help those diffcult younger children,but also to develop the student's abilities that dealing with different thing,interacting with other people,cooporating with other individuals.
Participating in this social service is no doubt that would bo benefited to society and individual,but i thing that it should not become a compulsory activity.Every people should have free and right to do the thing they want to do,and this activity should be decided weather wanting help other people by themselves,but is imposed by any one or any institution.
Overall,my own opinion is that alrough the unpaid community service is benefitd for society and individual,but if people want to do should be depended on a person's own will.Because the right and free of people is very important thing to our life
不得不说我秒了一眼,开头的句子就有3处错误,我再看看,帮你改改,
再问： 语法基本没学过，对我来说就是个坑…
再答： Education has been thediscussion that the whole world is currently focusing on. Nowadays, it’sconsidered that students should be forced to take active part in the communityservices without payback. In my perspective, however, people are supposed tomake their own decision, despite the fact that volunteer is truly beneficial tostudents’ development.
Children are the crucial part of the entire country and we are responsible tohelp them, especially those who are facing with poverty and violence, get ridof dilemma. We cannot deny that helping others not only makes their lives mucheasier, but also enhances our abilities to socialize and collaborate with otherpeople.
再问： 语法基本没学过，对我来说就是个坑…
再答： Education has been thediscussion that the whole world is currently focusing on. Nowadays, it’sconsidered that students should be forced to take active part in the communityservices without payback. In my perspective, however, people are supposed tomake their own decision, despite the fact that volunteer is truly beneficial tostudents’ development.
Children are the crucial part of the entire country and we are responsible tohelp them, especially those who are facing with poverty and violence, get ridof dilemma. We cannot deny that helping others not only makes their lives mucheasier, but also enhances our abilities to socialize and collaborate with otherpeople.