求英语高手帮我改作文.改病句

求英语高手帮我改作文.改病句
Dear.Shen yongming,
Today,we watched a Cartoon called Ratatouille.The story talks about that A rat named Remy dreams of becoming a great French chef despite his family's wishes and the obvious problem of being a rat in a decidedly rodent-phobic profession.
In the end ,Remy chang his life
After the cartoon .I won't forget the way Remy're dointg.The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long .there is something left in my head .
Now i`ll just write myself a feeling about that goes like this,
In my opinion,i think that the music in the is very beautiful and the picture is pretty good!
I also think Remy is very cute,i do love it.Now i think Remy is a hero in my life!For example:Remy said:I've always believed with hard work and a little bit of luck,it's only a matter of time before I'm discovered!It move to me so strong!after that ,i feel hopeful!and i also think i will be successful in the future!
From this time,i will do the same thing as Remy do.like that
Don't be shy,just try.
I enjoy losing face.
I enjoy being embarrassed.
I enjoy being laughed at.
I enjoy being made fun of.
I enjoy making mistakes.
I enjoy learning from my mistakes!
The more mistakes I make,the more progress I make!
Try to make as many mistakes as possible!
Try to lose face as much as possible!
Try to make people laugh as much as possible!
Try to be embarrassed as much as possible!
Try to make progress as much as possible!
Start to make mistakes and lose face today!
That's the only way to success!
I think i will be successful i can do everything!i can play I wanna be NO.1

Today,we watched a Cartoon called Ratatouille.The story talks about that A rat named Remy dreams of becoming a great French chef despite his family's wishes and the obvious problem of being a rat in a decidedly rodent-phobic profession.
In the end ,Remy chang his life
After the cartoon .I won't forget the way Remy're dointg.The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long .there is something left in my head .
Now i`ll just write myself a feeling about that goes like this,
In my opinion,i think that the music in the is very beautiful and the picture is pretty good!
I also think Remy is very cute,i do love it.Now i think Remy is a hero in my life!For example:Remy said:I've always believed with hard work and a little bit of luck,it's only a matter of time before I'm discovered!It move to me so strong!after that ,i feel hopeful!and i also think i will be successful in the future!
From this time,i will do the same thing as Remy do.like that
Don't be shy,just try.
I enjoy losing face.
I enjoy being embarrassed.
I enjoy being laughed at.
I enjoy being made fun of.
I enjoy making mistakes.
I enjoy learning from my mistakes!
The more mistakes I make,the more progress I make!
Try to make as many mistakes as possible!
Try to lose face as much as possible!
Try to make people laugh as much as possible!
Try to be embarrassed as much as possible!
Try to make progress as much as possible!
Start to make mistakes and lose face today!
That's the only way to success!
I think i will be successful !i can do everything!i can play !I wanna be NO.1
回答者：997318294 - 秀才 二级 3-28 12:18
1In the end ,Remy chang his life
改为In the end ,Remy changed his life
2I won't forget the way Remy're dointg
改为 I won't forget the way Remy doing
3In It move to me so strongmy opinion,i think that the music in the
改为 去掉I think 或者 去掉in my opinion
4.Now i think Remy is a hero in my life!最好改为 Now I treat Remy as a hero
5鄙人认为For example最好去掉
6 It move to me so strong改为 It move me so strong
7From this time,i will do the same thing as Remy do.改为from now on,i will do the same thing as Remy do.
8Start to make mistakes and lose face today!最好改为from today 或者from now on
9I think i will be successful !i can do everything!i can play !I wanna be NO.1
i think 最好改为 i belive
wanna 最好改为 i am gonna be NO.1