英语日记评改.Today I watched a news online.It showed a firefight w

英语日记评改.
Today I watched a news online.It showed a firefight who saved a person’s life.The firefight hold the person with ropes to slip off to ground.The news’s staff said there have hundreds people who used telephone or camera to take pictures.I do not understand whole things about the news because as I watched the news I can not understand each words on the news’s staff said .I had watched the news seriously two times but I was still two skies,although I was so down however I told myself do not give up forever that I should continued to straggle .This is my first time to write a daily not for homework it just for practice my writing.I know every things that it is hard to start but I have no choice.In My mind,There are many ideas that all of things in order to improve to my English level as soon as possible.To follow my ideas today I wake up earlier than before and I drank taw cup of coffees that I hope I will work hard whole day without asleep.After that ,I received my girlfriend’s messages who told me that I was wake up early and I told her that I on waking up I drank 2 cup of coffee in order to study.for the time beginning she was worried about that she said it is a big problem to health and too good things is a bad things.I understand but I have I weak English.In my opinion if a person who want to get things that he should pay things first.I was no more ideas to think more that I just know I need to practice my English immediately that have no things can obstruct my step.I appear high spirits that lead me bad temper so I was lost control .I told her “get out” it is my first time said such the words to her.I know that I should not do such a thing,I just have no elegy to think others.I know that she look after me but she do understand what I need………..finally,I do not want to say any more.
对于英文写作本人深知还是个菜鸟.
这是我写的英语日记,我请想各位高手帮我评改下,看看这些句子怎么样才能写的更好些.还有写作中的问题,怎样不避免和改良.
最后,诚恳的谢谢帮我修改的各位高手了.

1.watched a news 由于news为不可数名词,不能加a,可改为 a piece of news
2.It showed a firefight who saved a person’s life.此句话,可以改为it described a story in which a firefighter saved a person's life
3.The news’s staff said there have hundreds people who used telephone or camera to take pictures 此处there have 为语法错误,应直接为there were
4.I do not understand 保证时态一致,应为I did not...
5.whole things about the news 可改为 the whole course of the event
6.I can not understand each words on the news’s staff said 可改为
I couldn't understand the words of the news that the staff was saying
7.watched the news seriously two times 此处用twice更好
8.although I was so down however I told myself do not give up forever that I should continued to straggle 可改为although I was so down ,I told myself not to give up forever and I should continue to work hard.
9.This is my first time to write a daily not for homework it just for practice my writing可改为This is my first time that I have written a daily not for homework,but just for improving my written skills
10.I know every things that it is hard to start but I have no choice应该为I know that everything is hard to start ,but I am determined to work on
11.In My mind There are many ideas that all of things in order to improve to my English level as soon as possible改为There exists a keen desire in my heart for improving my English well as soon as possible .
12.To follow my ideas 改为To realize the goal
13.I drank taw cup of coffees that I hope I will work hard whole day without asleep改为I drank two cups of coffee so that I can keep energetic the whole day.
14.After that 改为Then
15.I received my girlfriend’s messages who told me that I was wake up early and I told her that I on waking up I drank 2 cup of coffee in order to study改为I received my girlfriend's mgs which praised me for geting up early,and I told her taht in order to study more efficiently,I had drank two cups of coffeee.
16.for the time beginning she was worried about that she said it is a big problem to health and too good things is a bad things改为 At first,she was worried about that what I did for study would be harmful to my health,which could turn a good thing into a bad thing.
17.I understand but I have I weak English.可改为I knew that,but I have to continue due to my weak English
18.In my opinion if a person who want to get things that he should pay things first可改为But I thought that if there are no pains,there will not be gains
19.I was no more ideas to think more that I just know I need to practice my English immediately that have no things can obstruct my step.可改为Aside from sparing no pains to learn English well,I hardly thought of the other thing which would obstruct my step to my goal.
20.I appear high spirits that lead me bad temper so I was lost control .I told her “get out” it is my first time said such the words to her.可改为Because of the high spirits of learning,I could't control my temper and told her to get ouot for the first time.
21.I know that I should not do such a thing,I just have no elegy to think others可改为I knew that it was big error,but I just thought of nothing except learning at that time.
22.I know that I should not do such a thing,I just have no elegy to think others可改为I also knew that what she said was just for my health,but,but...she didn't what I really needed