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求英语大神级别的高级教师给我作文评下分吧,

来源:学生作业帮 编辑:作业帮 分类:英语作业 时间:2024/04/30 11:29:10
求英语大神级别的高级教师给我作文评下分吧,
Dear David,
I'm very glad to have received your letter.You asked me about my life on weekends.Now I'll tell you something about it.
My life is very great.How spend time on weekends it's important to keep my health.In the morning,I get up early,then I listen to music and have breakfast,This is beginning of a beautiful day.After I eat lunch,then I will study from 1:00 pm to 5:00 pm.In the evening,I can't watch TV until I eat dinner.Isn't a nice day?
LOVE,
Zhang Jun
规定:80个词 没有关键句 内容就是告诉你的朋友你的周末生活 中学生的作文
Dear David,
I'm very glad to have received your letter.You asked me about my life on weekends.Now I'll tell you something about it.
【第一段写的很好!没有任何语法错误,用词和表达都准确无误.】
My life is very great. How 【to】spend 【the】time on weekends 【is】 important to keep my health.In the morning,I get up early【and do some sports】.Then I listen to 【some 】music and have breakfast.This is 【the】beginning of a beautiful day.After【having】lunch, I will 【then】study from 1:00 pm to 5:00 pm.In the evening, I 【can】 watch TV 【when finishing】dinner.(修改后,和后一句话搭配起来,表达语义和逻辑更合理) Isn't 【it】a nice day?

yours lovely,
Zhang Jun但是,第二段就有些明显的失误,具体见纠正【】内.
整体来看,需要注意课本常用句子在写作中的套用;另外,可以将内容写得更充实、更丰富,即,注意修饰词的作用.
总分15分的话,能得9——11分.
加油!还有一定提升空间.
祝你开心如意!