文法检查 语法好的进 要过去式

文法检查 语法好的进 要过去式
In other word,maybe it was God?God had given him too much on the
success of his bussiness,but ignored his health and luck.God was fair.
I also think that he was a very brave and intellective Navy too.In the
fall of 1940,Kennedy became the first group of young people selected to join
the U.S.Army.However,in the spring of 1941,he was at the army medical
examination failed to admit,the major reasons on this were because that his
back,colon and stomach were not healthy.Later,through his father's help,he
became the Navy.I think he was a workaholic.In 1942,the U.S.Navy granted
his request to arrange for him to study at a naval school,and he came to
Florida,where a new mission to the implementation of the Panama mission.
But after some days,he thinks he should be transferred to the South Pacific.
So he got a new mission there.He became a PT boat captain,was sent in
July at the islands,Where Japanese troops have been attacked,got a lot of
casualties,but he had a amazing willpower to persist in the sea of more than
five hours,with the partners is still alive on a small island.In March 1,1945,
he became one of the U.S.Navy of retired officers,Just a few months after
Japan's surrender,announced the end of the Second World War.In this
mission,his performance made me very much admired.

1.In the words
2.also后不再用too.
3.Kennedy became (one) of the first group
4.because本身就是引导词,后不再接that
5.became用得太多,有些地方可以用其他词代替,例:through his father's help,he entered the navy.