英语翻译Once upon a time there was a girl who lived on the edge

英语翻译
Once upon a time there was a girl who lived on the edge of a city.Her name was Lisa.She was very nice and filial.All the time she had a happiness and wealthy family.She had parents and a older sister.In a Spring Festival,her father was not at home,her mother called to children:
"Let's go to your uncle's home.'
"OK,mum."
So Lisa and her sister started.On the way to her cousin's home,They met a robber.
"Ha ha ha..."the robber said,"Hello,dear woman and lovely girls.Where will you go?Do you have money?"
Mother said:"I have no money!And I can't tell you where will we go!"
"Tell that to the marines!Beautiful woman,If you tell me or give me,I give you $1000."The robber said,then he take out a sword.
"What do you want to do?"Mother said frighten.
"I want to kill you,beautiful woman and your daughters."
"Dear daughters,don't frighten!"
"So touching!I'll kill you,goodness and female woman and girls!"
The robber's sword gradually the woman's heart.Lisa was stand in the front.The sword was pierce her heart.She died.
The woman very sorrowed.She knelt and said:"Lisa,my daughter!I can't bear you go!"
At the same time,Lisa's cousin and his parents walked.They heard the sound,so they went to there.Then they knowed what was the matter,they were so angry.Lisa's aunt struke the robber.The robber was killed her.
Lisa's mother struke the robber.She injured the robber.But the robber not died,he killed her and buried alive her.
When Lisa's sister Minnie was run into a village and found a hunter.They came running back to the road at the robber was trying to killed Minnie.The hunter sent out an arrow and the arrow was shooted the robber's body.
The robber was never seen around there again.
The second day,Minnie,her father,her cousin,her uncle and her grandfather were bruy her mother,her aunt and her sister.
把最后一段改成：“In a day,Minnie and her aliving relatives buried Lisa,Lily(her mother) and Lynne.”
[人手翻译(不翻译括号内的)！不会的不要回答]

Orz.
这完全是8点档式狗血大烂片,描写了无趣的杀人强盗和一家不知所谓纷纷丧命的白痴主角.
重点是低级语法错误和逻辑错误一堆堆.
忽略那些令人无语的错误,翻是随手翻译出来了,但是实在好囧.
现在初一的小孩子已经到了阅读这种文章的地步吗?或者说是LZ同学之类自己编的么- -
sigh~加油吧.
P.S：“【】”中是实在无法忍受而进行的点评.
从前,有一个住在城市边缘的女孩子,她的名字叫Lisa.Lisa非常的有教养而且孝顺.她一直拥有一个快乐且富有的家庭,家中有父母和一个姐姐.在一个春节,Lisa的父亲没有在家,她的母亲便对孩子们说：
“让我们去你们叔叔家吧.”
“好的,妈妈.”
于是Lisa便和姐姐一起出发了.在去她表兄家的路上,她们遇到了一个强盗.
“哈哈哈.”这个强盗说：“你们好,亲爱的女士和可爱的女孩们.你们要去哪?你们有钱吗?”
妈妈说：“我没有钱!我也不能告诉你我们要去哪!”【这白痴.】
“谁信你那一套!漂亮的女人,如果你肯告诉我,我就给你1000美元.”强盗说着,然后拿出了一把刺刀.【翻译成剑也可以,但是我实在无法忍受说着这种话的强盗手里拎着一把剑.】
“你想干什么?”妈妈惊慌地说.
“我想杀了你们,美丽的女人和你的女儿们.”
“亲爱的女儿们,别害怕!”【其他的错误就不说,这里的原文,frighten是动词列!动词!怎么可以当成副词来用!这种低级错误是谁指导出来的- -】
“真是令人感动!我会杀了你们,善良并且女性的女人和女孩们!”【不知所措.暂时这么翻译吧】
强盗的刺刀逐渐刺向了女人的心脏.Lisa却站到了前面,那把刺刀刺穿了她的心脏,她死去了.【这一段少了单词并且各种词类用法一片混乱】
女人悲痛不已,她跪了下来,说：“Lisa,我的女儿!我无法忍受你离开!”
在此同时,Lisa的表兄和他的父母走来了.他们听到了声音,所以赶来了这里.然后他们知道了发生了什么,都感到非常愤怒.Lisa的舅妈踢打着强盗,强盗把她杀了.
Lisa的妈妈也击打着强盗,并打伤了他.可是这强盗并没有死,他杀了她并将她活埋.【纠结.到底是要杀了她还是要活埋?或者其实作者想说打晕了活埋?】
当Lisa的姐姐Minnie逃进了一个村庄时,她找到了一名猎人.他们一起跑回了那条路上.在强盗又试图杀死Minnie时,这名猎人发射出了一枚子弹,这枚子弹击中了强盗的身体.
后来,这周围再也不见了那名强盗的身影.
一天后,Minnie和她活着的亲戚埋葬了Lisa,Lily和Lynne.