有翻译!（必须滴）话题暂时随便!要5个!

有翻译!（必须滴）话题暂时随便!要5个!

A Mistake
An American,a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident.They arrived at the gates of heaven,where a flustered St.Peter explained that there had been a mistake."Give me $500 each," he said,"and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."
"Done!" said the American.Instantly,he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.
"Where are the others?" asked a medic.
"Last I knew," said the American,"the Scot was haggling price,and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."
搞错了
一位美国人,一位英格兰人和一位加拿大人在一场车祸中丧生.他们到达天堂的门口.在那里,醉醺醺的圣彼德解释说是搞错了.“每人给我五百美元,”他说,“我将把你们送回人间,就象什么都没有发生过一样.”
“成交!”美国人说.立刻,他发现自己毫不损伤地站在现场附近.
“其他人在哪儿?”一名医生问道.
“我离开之前,”那名美国人说,“我看见英格兰人正在砍价,而那名加拿大人正在分辩说应该由他的政府来出这笔钱.”
“I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”
“Twenty d ollars!Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
“Yes ,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
“对不起,夫人,为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元.”
“20美元!为什么?不是说好只要4美元.”
“是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四个病人吓跑了.”
Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush.She watched the cat,and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely,"Woof,woof,woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said,"Now,do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步,突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽.
母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪,汪,汪”,猫听了非常害怕,拼命跑走了.
母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧.”
改改,添一下
I work for 7up"!我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Five Hundred Times 五百遍
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city,a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light.She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes.A wild gleam came into the judge's eye."You are a school teacher,eh?" said he."Madam,I shall realize my lifelong ambition.Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里,一位年轻女士被带到法官面前,她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单.女士向法官解释,她是一名学校老师,请求法官马上处理她的案子,以便可以赶回去上课.法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠,说道：“你是学校的老师,对吗?女士,我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了.在那张桌子旁坐下,写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍.”（这个不错吧,哈哈,刚开始还没完全懂呢）
I'm Trying to Stop It
"Boy,why have you got cotton-wool in your ear?Is it infected?"
"No,sir,but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other ,so I am trying to stop it."
“孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?”
“没有,老师.可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面.”