英语翻译Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day

英语翻译
Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day):I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.
Husband:I wish that too,so I could change you daily
JOKE 2
A little boy asked his father:Daddy,how much does it cost to get married?
The father replied:I don 't know son.I 'm still paying!
JOKE 3
At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home...He asks him:what are you doing?
The son replied:Dad I am fed up with my life!My newly marriage is not going well,my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other!I have to pay bills for my in-laws,and I hate this life!I want to go far from here,I want to taste every joy of life,and I want to have every fun of life!
Father said:Wait!I am coming with you
JOKE 4
A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session.Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answered:Thank you honey,what would you like me to bring for you?
The husband laughed and said:An English girl!
The woman kept quiet and left.Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked:So honey,how was the trip?
The wife:Very good,thank you.
The husband:And,what happened to my present?
The wife:Which present?
The husband:What I asked for:the English girl?
The wife:Oh,that!Well,I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!

1、妻子对丈夫（整天看报纸）说：我真希望我是一张报纸,那样我就能每天被你拿在手里了.
丈夫：我也这么希望,那样我就能每天换新的了.
2、小男孩问他的父亲：爸爸,结婚要花多少钱?
父亲回答：我不知道,儿子.我还在付钱中……
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