英语翻译Oh!Women...If you kiss her,you are not a gentlemanIf you

英语翻译
Oh!Women...
If you kiss her,you are not a gentleman
If you don't,you are not a man
If you praise her,she thinks you are lying
If you don't,you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes,she is abusing
If you don't,you are not understanding
If you make romance,you are an 'experienced man'
If you don't you are half a man
If you visit her too often,she thinks it is boring
If you don't,she accuses you of double crossing
If you are well dressed,she says you are a playboy
If you don't,you are a dull boy
If you are jealous,she says it's bad
If you don't ,she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance,she says you didn't respect her
If you don't,she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late,she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late,she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another,she accuses you of being a heel
If she is visited by another,'oh it's natural,we are girls'
If you kiss her once in a while,she professes you are cold
If you kiss her too many,she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street,you lack ethics
If you do,she thinks it's just one of the man's tactics
If you stare at other,she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by others,she says that they are just admiring
If you talk,she wants you to listen
If you listen,she wants you to talk
Oh God!you created those creature called "WOMAN'
So simple,yet so complex
So weak,yet so powerful
So confusing,yet so desirable
"O LORD,tell me what to do.AMEN"

哎!女人啊...
如果你吻她,你就不是君子
如果你不吻她,你就不是男人
如果你称赞她,她认为你是个大话王
如果你不称赞她,你就是个窝囊废
如果你认同她喜欢的东西,她就会滥用无度
如果你不认同,她认为你不懂他
如果你做些浪漫的事,你就是个经验老道的调情高手
如果你不浪漫,你就是个木头人
如果你经常去看她,她认为你很烦
如果你不去看她,她会指责你脚踏两只船
如果你衣冠楚楚,她说你是花花公子
如果你穿戴邋遢,你就是个呆头呆脑的毛头小子
如果你对她有所猜疑,她说不该这样
如果你不这样,她认为你不爱她
如果你试图浪漫一下,她说你不尊重她
如果你不这样,他认为你不喜欢她
如果你迟到了一分钟,她会抱怨等得太苦
如果她迟到了,她说女孩就是这样.
如果你去看望别人,她责骂你是个跟屁虫.
如果别人去看她,她会说“哦,很正常阿!我们是女孩子嘛!”
如果你只是偶尔吻吻她,她宣称你很冷酷
如果你时不时地吻吻她,她大叫你占她便宜
如果你在过马路时没有帮她,那你没人品
如果你帮她了,她认为这只是男人的一种惯用伎俩.
如果你直盯着她,她说你是故意放电
如果别人直盯着她,她说那是他们出于尊重
如果你在说话,她想让你听她说
如果你听她说,她又想让你说
哎,天哪!你为什么造了一个叫“女人”的生物
很单纯,却让人住摸不透
很弱小,却权力很大
很让人困惑,却又让人割舍不下
啊,天哪,告诉我该怎么办!阿门!