英语幽默故事,要中英对照,但稍微长点.急

英语幽默故事,要中英对照,但稍微长点.急

Lucky Mother
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were
so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small
daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh
brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that.
She asked for some jam on her bread as well.
Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "When I was a small
girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and
jam, but never bread with butter and jam.
Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said
to her kindly, "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?"
幸运的母亲
一位年轻的母亲认为,世界上还有许多受饥饿的人,浪费食物真不应该.有天晚上,在安排幼小的女儿睡觉之前,她给女儿喂夜宵.她先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油,但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃.她还要一些果酱涂在面包上.
母亲看了女儿几秒钟,随即说道,“露茜,当我象你一样小的时候,总是吃面包加黄油,或者面包加果酱,从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱.”
露茜看了母亲一会儿,眼中露出怜悯的神情,然后她柔声说：“您现在能跟我们生活在一起难道不感到高兴吗?”

this alligator isn't wearing any shoes either
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of
genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high
prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the
shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own
alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch
yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself
an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home when he spots the young woman
standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9
foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.
She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to
the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.
The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on
it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any
shoes either!"
这只鳄鱼也没穿鞋
一个年轻的金发女郎在路易斯安那州的深处旅行.有些道路很糟糕,因此她想要双真正的鳄鱼皮鞋,可是又不愿付出当地卖主开出的高价.
最后,一店主“恕不还价”的态度使她非常沮丧,于是大声嚷道：“也许我该出去亲自抓一只鳄鱼,这样我就能以合理的价格得到一双鳄鱼鞋.”
店主说：“请便吧,朋友.也许你很走运,会弄到一双大的.”
女郎咬咬牙,转身向沼泽地走去,准备亲手抓只鳄鱼.
当天下午,在开车回家的路上,店主看到一个年轻妇女手提猎枪,站在齐腰的水中,这时,他看到一个巨大的9英尺长的鳄鱼向她快速游去.
她举起手,杀死了鳄鱼,费了很大的力气把它拖到岸边.附近还有另外几只死鳄鱼.
店主惊奇地看着.这时,女郎抽打着鳄鱼的后背,失望地叫喊道：“真该死!这只鳄鱼也没有穿鞋.”