高分请高手帮忙修改一下我的英语短文o(∩_∩)o!

高分请高手帮忙修改一下我的英语短文o(∩_∩)o!
Fat is My Happiness
Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile,but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.——THICH NHAT HANH
It’s hard to believe that I was thin before I went to the fourth grade in primary school.I still remember the exact time others first told me the change of my body.It was the day the new term started,my big fat teacher who was in charge of the class greeted me with a smile,‘You’ve got some fat,haven’t you?You have become chubby!’ Later he told me,‘Actually you have just been much stouter,you’re more like a manly boy now!’
One year later he gave me a much bigger smile,‘You’re my student,you learn everything from me!’ Then I realized I had gained so much weight.
In another year I luckily passed an important test which decided whether one could be accepted by the school; I am studying in now.The test is wholly an aptitude test.It had two parts,a sports one and a language test.I was nearly used up to complete the 400-meter race.I felt so nervous,especially when the men who was in charge of the starting gun reminded us that we should be careful and not to be tripped down.In ten seconds he shouted,‘Run!’ Then I rushed out and after running for only 7 or 8 meters I fell over.Nothing could be more terrible,I had a terrible start and my confidence was terribly shaken.I was far behind others.Of course I went on,I sped on and ran like a madman.I was determined to run as far as I could.Once I even caught others up and overtook them,but soon I was running out of energy.Finally I hard dragged my overweight body to the finish line.I was the last one that finished the race.The timer smiled to me,‘One minute and 41 seconds.’ I passed.No matter whether he was lying me or not,I deserved to pass it,wasn’t it?
However I never hate my fat that bulges my body.I’m so pleased that people around me are so kind that they describe me mostly by using ‘Chubby’,‘Large’,‘Plump’,and ‘Stout’.They often told me,‘Hey,you’ve become thinner!’ pretend to be very sincere.I never lose my temper when others call me ‘fatso’.I always think,‘That’s me.The reason why most people think being fat is unfortunate is that they only know those scientific sayings like ‘being fat can cause high blood or hypertensive.But I think’ ‘Just let it be,I am a Big Mac on basketball ground and I am powerful!’ It’s such a fantastic thing to enjoy fun that my overweight body brings me!
本人水平实在不高,烦请高手相助,
但是好像有些问题还不是很满意。my big fat teacher中big fat 的连用很正常。in ten seconds的意思是10秒以后。I’m so pleased that people around me are so kind that they describe 这句表示他们措辞的善良。不过谢谢你的appearing to be very sincere!
BS二楼

Fat is My Happiness
Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy. ——THICH NHAT HANH
It’s hard to believe that I was thin before I went to the fourth grade in primary school. I still remember the exact time others first told me the change of my body. It was the day the new term started, my big teacher who was in charge of the class greeted me with a smile, ‘You’ve got some fat, haven’t you? You have become chubby!’ Later he told me, ‘Actually you have just been much stouter, you’re more like a manly boy now!’
One year later he gave me a much bigger smile, ‘You’re my student, you learn everything from me!’ Then I realized I had gained so much weight.
In the following year I luckily passed an important test which decided whether one could be accepted by the school where I am studying now. The test is wholly an aptitude test. It had two parts, sports and a language test. I was nearly used up to complete the 400-meter race. I felt so nervous, especially when the men who was in charge of the starting gun reminded us that we should be careful and not be tripped down. After ten seconds he shouted, ‘Run!’ Then I rushed out. After running for only 7 or 8 meters I fell over. Nothing could be more terrible, I had a terrible start ,my confidence was terribly shaken. I was far behind others. Of course I went on, I speed on and ran like a madman. I was determined to run as far as I could. Once I even caught others up and overtook them, but soon I was out of energy. Finally I hard dragged my overweight body to the finish line. I was the last one that finished the race. The timer smiled to me, ‘One minute and 41 seconds.’ I passed. No matter whether he was lying or not, I deserved to pass it, wasn’t it?
However I never hate the fat that bulges my body. I’m so pleased that people around me are so kind though they describe me mostly by using ‘Chubby’, ‘Large’, ‘Plump’, and ‘Stout’. They often tell me, ‘Hey, you’ve become thinner!’ appearing to be very sincere. I never lose my temper when others call me ‘fatso’. I always think, ‘That’s me. The reason why most people think being fat is unfortunate is that they only know those scientific sayings like ‘being fat can cause high blood or hypertensive’. But I think’ ‘Just let it be, I am a Big Mac on basketball ground and I am powerful!’ It’s such a fantastic thing to enjoy the fun that my overweight body brings me!
我改了半天了
呵呵
好长啊
尽力了～～～