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请老师为这篇first aid短文纠错,

来源:学生作业帮 编辑:作业帮 分类:英语作业 时间:2024/05/24 17:16:52
请老师为这篇first aid短文纠错,
【First aid】
 In our life,we always face some accidental harm.Usually these harms can't influence our normal life.But,sometime,one,having suffered from a serious harm,is very dangerious,even losing one's life.To be sure,it is necessary that we should master some method of first aid in order to prevent from more harm. If we  face serious harm,for example,one's carotid is punctured by sharp objects,we should let patient lay without moving,and use towel to wrap the wound preventing from excessively bleeding.then,we should resort to the hospital.Because,in normal situation,other a carotid can maintain blood for 30minutes.For other example,if one suffers from a accident,we should firstly bound his injured position,same,keep patient without moving until doctors are coming. So,mastering a right method of first aid is of great benefit to us 

请问第二篇(图)5分的情况下,上面这一片几分?
基础性的语法错倒没有.主要毛病是几个句子的主、谓、宾的逻辑结构不清晰,有的关系混乱.先改了,供你参考:
In our life, we always face some accidental harms. Usually these harms may not influence our normal life. But sometime, it is very dangerous having suffered from a serious harm, even causing loss of one's life. To be sure, it is necessary that we should learn some knowledge of first aid in order to prevent us from serious harm. For example,if one's carotid is punctured by sharp objects,we should let the patient lay without moving,and use towel to wrap the wound to avoid further bleeding. Then,we should resort to the hospital. Because,in normal situation,a carotid can maintain blood for 30minutes. For other example,if one suffers from an accident,we should firstly bound his injured position,and keep the patient without moving until doctors are coming. So, mastering a right method of first aid is greatly benefitial to us.
再问: 嗯嗯,谢谢老师,请问相比下面这篇有没有进步?
再答: 本人认为比第二篇强很多。第二篇的第一段句子太简单,还有语法错误。还有,第二段都应用过去时态,有好几处用了现在时。这是硬伤。 另外,这篇里的the patient应改为the wounded。是伤者,不是病人。