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求助:雅思作文批改评分!

来源:学生作业帮 编辑:作业帮 分类:综合作业 时间:2024/05/09 17:20:53
求助:雅思作文批改评分!
题目:Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
In this day and age, the problem of traffic and pollution is becoming increasingly serve. Some people believe that we should increase the price of petrol to tacle the problem while others think that we can use other methods to solve it. From my own perspective, I am in favor of the latter view.
It is evident that there are many ways to deal with this problem. To begin with, the new facilities can be used to help protecting the environment. The government can allocate more money to buy them. This way is better to oue lives, provided that the equipment is correctly used. Moreover, the authorities also can set up more positions, which can preserve the environment. While more positions are set up, more people will easily find a job. Therefore, it can not only improving our standard of living, but also providing more jobs to people. Last but not least, the citizens should enhancing their recognition of preserving the environhe ment - that is to say, they can help the government to combat these issues. In other words, every people can do his or her best.
Admittedly, increasing the prie of perol is also a good way for the sake of our living. Apparently, as the price is higher than the past, many people tend to save their money. So they can use the petrol efficiently. Nevertheless, many individuals cannot afford suchhigh price - that is to say, they do not want to buy it. Therefore, this is not an efficient way for all the people.
In the final analysis, several factors can contribute to the environment. I an convinced that we should take many steps. For instance, using the new equipment and improving citizens' awareness, to make our world cleaner.
总的来说是不错的,上6应该可以~
如果你是一个初级“烤鸭”,我觉得你很不错啦~
不过我希望你还能再接再厉啦~给你些意见啦~
希望你的替换词多一些,不要总是the price of petrol~
还有一个硬伤,模版痕迹太重!貌似是慎小嶷的杰作(我想你懂得~)
再有就是一篇文章不是用的短语越多越好,用的恰到好处的就行~多了就有点累赘,比如:that is to say这个短语真的是没用的,但是你用了2次
“Last but not least”~多点高级单词很提分~
希望能给你帮助啦~
只是建议咯~我只是曾经的一只“烤鸭”(作文7),所以,我的建议是草根滴~非官方哈~