帮忙修改下英语日记.完全是自学英语,所以尝试着写一些英语日记.我知道里面有很多错误,This morning,I wen

帮忙修改下英语日记.
完全是自学英语,所以尝试着写一些英语日记.我知道里面有很多错误,
This morning,I went to Vegetable market with my wife.We always go to same place to shopping.Here's the thing,(this is how it happened) one day,my wife met a woman at food market,The woman's old home in the He nan,so after the woman realize we were Shaxi people,she said we were half old lad.finally,every time we go to shopping over there,she always give us a discount.
This evening,I gave my father a call and ask him some question about my family,because I have seen a news about temperature in beijing and Be jing's temperature have rise to 40.6,and one woker put a egg in the road,a little while,the egg have done,after the call has been put through,my father told me,there is very hotter and It seldom rains there,a few days ago,it have a less rain and that rain didn't even got wet the land.then I told my father look after his health and my mother's and sunstroke prevention,then I finished the call.

楼主我直接在原文改你对照着看好不好~有些冠词和形容词不是很合适~
我把更改的地方打出括号来~并标上序号~以便讲解~
This morning,I went to Vegetable market with my wife.1.(We always go shopping on the same place).Here's the thing,(this is how it happened) one day,my wife met a woman at food market,2.(The woman was born in He'nan by origin) ,so after the woman realize we were 3 .(from Shanxi) ,she said we were half old lad.finally,4.(every time we go shopping there,she always gives us a discount.)
This evening,I gave my father a call and asked him some question about my family,because I have 5.(read some news) about temperature in beijing and Be jing's temperature have risen to 40.6,and one woker put a egg on the road,a little while,6.(the egg was able to eat) ,after the call has been put through,my father told me,7.(it is hotter and It seldom rains there) ,a few days ago,it have a slight rain and that rain didn't even 8.(wet the field).then I told my father 9.(he should look after my mother and himself and prevent sunstroke ),then I finished the call.
总体来说楼主写的很不错~用了许多高级词汇~因为是自学的原因~大概对语法容易出现一些小漏洞~并且中国英语（Chinglish）的现象比较严重~
我按序号一个一个说原因~
1.shopping一般和go连用~而非go to shopping
并且,same一般和the连用
2.原句缺少谓语~也就是少了个 is 改完以后会更地道一些,原句有点直译了~一看就是中国人写的~另外中国省份中间不需要空格~
3.山西人不是直译成Shanxi people,而要说来自山西
4.还是go to shopping的错误~这里不用to,而且注意动词单复数（原句中的give）
5.阅读一般用read see多表示“看见”
news作“新闻”讲 是不可数名词~前面不能用 a
6.改了以后比较符合英语习惯
7.there是不能作主语的~所以表示天气就用it~
very也不能用在比较级的前面~
8.又有些中式英语了~wet在这里可以直接作动词~意为“使...湿”
9.look after是照顾照料~后面直接跟人就可以了~一般不用照顾健康···
prevention是名词~原句不符合语法~无谓语~改制后就是动词+宾语了~
楼主能自学英语~本身勇气可嘉~而且敢于把自己的日记拿出来让别人修改~我很佩服楼主的勇气和决心~所以帮你细细地看了一遍~有几处小改动没有括号出来~楼主可以对比着看一看~
建议楼主练习一下连接词的使用~这篇日记感觉and用的太多~没有层次感~并且and多了会造成歧义~所以不妨积累一些连词~比如but 、however等