高手可以帮我看一下英文文章有冇错和有什麼的意见,如才拿高mark?thank you!

高手可以帮我看一下英文文章有冇错和有什麼的意见,如才拿高mark?thank you!
Brussels,one of the cities in Belgium,there are many bar,chocolate shop and ancient building .the place is so magnificent,beautiful.The
place is my Favorite.
In Brussels,there are ancient,grand tower.You can see the sight for Belgium,but you need to walk very long time .you know why.Because
tower have 365 steps,a lot of people go to there .when you stand top of tower,you can see square,building,car and street .you will be
amazed by the view.
except tower ,there are bar ,the beer is very famous
.the beer come from many different country ,at least 100 kink of beer .if you
like to drink ,I think Brussels is you best choose.
Chocolate is specialty in Belgium.Many people want to go to Brussels.Because
they like chocolate.the chocolate is so delicious
and delicateness.Many girl like the chocolate very much.In world ,many
chocolate come from Belgium .except chocolate ,there are special candy ,you
can have your candy ,because
the Shopkeeper can special candy ,if you want the have
some letter or something else ,he can do it .
Belgium is an ancient place and I hope ,I can go Belgium in this holidays.

不知你是什么阶段的作文要求,能看出来你应该是一个英语初学者,能看出来有一些词是查字典很生硬地用上的.此外句型也很简单,有单复数、搭配等方面的问题,ancient和except这两个词也用了好多次.
具体来说,错误还是不少的,所以给你全篇改了一下,你可以对照一下.
Brussels is the capital of Belgium. There are many bars, chocolate shops and ancient buildings .the place is so beautiful and magnificent that I like it best among all cities.
There is an ancient grand tower in Brussels. On the top of the tower, you can have an amazing view of the country. (将后面的合并上来了)But that means a long and tiring walk, for the tower has 365 steps, and attracts a lot of tourists(后半句其实没有什么因果关系,所以可以删掉) .
Bars are also brilliant in Brussels, they have famous beer, which comes from many different countries, at least 100 pints are consumed every day. (kink很奇怪,不知什么意思,疑心是pint) .If you like drinking , I think Brussels is your best choice.
Chocolate is another specialty in Belgium. Many people want to go to Brussels, especially many girls, because they like the delicate and delicious chocolate there. In fact, a large amount of chocolate in the world comes from Belgium.
Besides, candies are also special there. You can make candy yourself (这一段下面几句真心没看懂,可能意思有改动)with the shopkeepers’ tools,for example,carving some letters on the candies.
Belgium is an ancient and beautiful country and I hope I can go there in this holiday.
PS：
1.最后一段的对象有问题,前面说的都是布鲁塞尔,后面忽然变成比利时,很奇怪,但我未作改动.
2.这样改过只是把中间的一些硬伤（主谓、单复、搭配等）更正,具体更高级的句型和词组真的没用多少,这个要靠自己积累.
3.有些东西不是查字典能查出来的,你的语法基础需要加强,最好是跟老师交流一下.