求英文joke一篇要求是故事性的,因为要冫隹备2~5分钟的演讲,所以麻烦大家了!限时早上4点之前~还有的发来

求英文joke一篇
要求是故事性的,因为要冫隹备2~5分钟的演讲,所以麻烦大家了!
限时早上4点之前~还有的发来

Harry the astronomy student (who happens to be a geek) and his new girl friend went to a music festival and will take shelter with their tent.After a good meal and a bottle of wine,they lay down for the night,and went to sleep.Some hours later,the girl woke up and nudged her boy friend:
"Honey,look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
the astronomy student replied,"I see millions and millions of stars."
"And what does that tell you?" his girlfriend asked,the guy pondered for a minute,said:
"Astronomically,it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically,I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically,I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically,I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically,I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you?" the girl was silent for a minute,then spoke from between her teeth:
"Harry Potter,you idiot.Somebody has stolen our tent!"
或者你可以用这个:
This is more embarrassing for my mother than for me because I wasn't quite four years old when it happened.My mother taught me to read when I was 3 years old (her first mistake).One day I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar.I read the box in the cabinet.I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the bathroom.Didn't they belong in the kitchen?Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts she told me that those were for special occasions.Now fast forward a few months.It's Thanksgiving Day,and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner.Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone.Mine was to set the table.You guessed it!When they returned,the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter.Next came his wife who gasped,then began giggling.Next came my father,who roared with laughter.Then came mom,who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate,with the fork carefully arranged on top.I had even tucked the little tails in so they didn't hang off the edge.My mother asked me why I used these and,of course,my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter."But Mom,you SAID they were for special occasions!
这个曾经让我笑到肚子痛到几乎窒息