托福独立写作批改 麻烦大家给个建议了~急

托福独立写作批改 麻烦大家给个建议了~急
government should spend more money supporting the arts than supporting athletics such as an Olympic team?
It is generally arguable that government should spend more money supporting the arts than supporting athletics such as an Olympic team.However,I do not agree with this view and I would go further and say it is more important to supporting athletics than supporting the arts.
The principle reason for supporting athletics is supports can give our citizen more entertainment than arts.In this day and age,more and more people spend time on watching sport games.For everyone can easily understand a support game,but have difficulties in understand art.Government might spend money supporting the arts without obvious effects.However,sports have much differences from arts that government's spend would not waste.For instance,my grandfather is eighty-years old.He had never played a support when he was young.But after watching National football games,he was so interested in football and could understand easily.
Another factor that should be taken into account is supporting athletics such as an Olympic team can stimulate people exercise and keep health.By watching a sport game,people will be more interested in doing exercise just like those athletics who they like.Exercise can help people have a health body.My grandfather is a case in point.Years before,he had a bad physical condition that he just can move very slowly not saying about run.But after interested in football,he was always trying to play it.By playing step by step,he gradually can move faster than before and finally,he could amazingly run for a while.It is the sports give him the opportunity to attend this level.
A third argument that we should not neglect is supporting athletics such as an Olympic team can push sport's development which can also improve economic.Such as Olympic Games,the impact of it on society has been massive indeed.Beijing's development can prove this view.During the Olympic Games,Beijing has developed not only in transportation but also in environment protection.A game can change a city in such a short time which impressed us a lot.In the contrast,supporting the arts certainly can not achieve.
Based on all these arguments,government should spend more money supporting athletics.People will benefit form it in various ways.It is good not only for individual but also for the whole society.

建议发到寄托天下,那里有大量考试给你互相批改!我当时就是在那发的,改的很不错!楼主在这里发,改的人很少的.