托福作文 马上就要考了,高分求改篇作文,

托福作文 马上就要考了,高分求改篇作文,
是否喜欢为节假日做打算
With the development of society,people have to devote much more time to their work or study.The more time we spend on our work,the less our leisure time is.So leisure time is previous for us nowadays.Therefore,we should make full use of our leisure time.From my own perspective,making plans for our leisure time is the best choice.
There is no doubt that making plans can prevent us from wasting time.We often hear from our friends that they have nothing to do during their holidays and do not know what to do,so they waste holidays one after another.While if we would like to make plan for our leisure time ahead of time,we can begin the holiday as what has been planned,from which we can benefit a lot.
Besides,making plans can help us make full use of our leisure time and have a good relax.Not only do we want to relieve the pressure from work and study,but also to enjoy our life greatly during our leisure time.We can make plans according the situation of ourselves.For example,If we mainly focus on brainwork,then we make plan to go outside on weekend or holiday.We do not need to think about work and just have a good rest,which can really add more fun and color to our lives.
In addition,making plans can remind us what we have not thought about and solve the problem ahead of time so that we can have a good time.For example,when we make a detailed plan for our holiday,we have to plan from the beginning to the end,then we can know what situations we may meet,So we can think about ideas to solve these problems ahead of time,as a result,we will settle difficulties easily when we meet them in reality.
Considerable though the advantages that making plans have,I can not deny that there may be some emergencies that our plans are not helpful.However,the situation will be worse without plans.In conclusion,making plans for our leisure time can bring us a great many benefits.

With the advancement of society,people have no choice but to devote much more time to their work or study.The more time they spend on their work,the less their leisure time will be.Time for recreation,thus,should be made full use of,of which the best way is to make a schedule before vacations.
There is no doubt that making plans can save people's time.It is commonplace that people hear their friends' complaint that they do not know what to do on vacation.Either watching TV or sleeping all day is too tiresome.On the other hand,if they arrange what they will do previously,they can obtain a meaningful vacation.
Besides,blueprinting a scheme for vacation can also help people have a good relax.People can make plans based on the situation of themselves and hence do what they want.For instance,for those who mainly focus on brainwork,some physical exercises are a good way of relaxation,such as going outside for a picnic on weekends,during which people have no necessity to be haunted by their work.Having a good rest,they attain an increasing amount of contentment.
Last but not least,planning ahead of time can remind people of what they wouldn't thind about otherwise and help acquire the solution to the possible problems before they actually happen.Imagine such situation.Some people are going hiking this weekend.To not be vexed by weather problems,these people plan to take some umbrellas or some raincoats with them.The rain,if any,will not bother the hikers.
From what I have mentioned above,a final conclusion,therefore,can be drawn that making a schedule for vacation beforehand is undoubtedly beneficial for the time it saves,the relaxation and contentment it brings and the problems it solves.
有较大改动,请仔细阅读
注意人称一致,要用一人称就全用,要用三人称也全用,建议全用三人称
注意同一个词不要反复出现,要用近义词或短语替换,如你的plan这个词用得太泛滥
with the develop of society 不要用,大家都这样用,太差,我给稍微你改了
注意例子要尽量具体（最好的方式是用名人的例子,具体的时间地点）
独立写作的词最好要上400,我有个同学560个词!
综合写作一定要听力听清楚,那三点都要听到每一点细节
上110分