帮忙修改雅思作文Universities should accept equal numbers of male and

帮忙修改雅思作文
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in very subject.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are more and more female students in universities.So universities want to keep balance with male students.I don't think this is neccessary.
A large amount of people think some courses only adjust for woman such as nurse and teacher of kindergarten.Because they think woman should do better than man.So these courses in the universities are full of girls.By contrast,if a girl is studying at a army school or university,many people will feel strange.
In my opion,people are moving into professions once dominated by the other gender.For instance,nurse field are not for women.There are more and more boys study this course in thier universities.Young people should not stay by their old idea which leads to a vicious circle.They can't choose their favorite courses.
That university places sould go to those who deserve them,on the basis of university entrance tests whether for man and woman.If you deserve to learn you should choose every courses you want.I think this is the best method.

老实说我觉得题目不是太好,看起来有问题.
在各个不同的专业学校应该接受同等数量的男女生.好怪!
首先：字数不够,要求250,你也差太多了吧,要被扣大分的.
第一段,破题立意.Topic sentences,因为女学生越来越多,所以学校保持男女生平衡你认为是没有意义的.呃……恕我直言,看不懂.
Supporting sentences,不是很强烈,没有解释为什么大家会这么认为,留下了悬念,要把老外当白痴给他们解释清楚才行.
Concluding sentences,在学校入学考试的帮助分析下,学生们应该选择他们自己喜欢的专业.这个,是不是有点跑题了?
另外就是两个拼写错误,necessary and sould
加油,回头我也我点我作文上来,大家互相指正 ：）