高一英语作文求专业英语老师批改，急急急急！！

来源：学生作业帮编辑：作业帮分类：综合作业时间：2024/05/05 05:09:26

高一英语作文求专业英语老师批改，急急急急！！
假设你叫丽华，你的朋友Joan即将来到你班学习。想了解班主任李老师的情况，发个邮件。内容要点如下：
1，李老师年近四十，1986年任教以来，工作一贯努力，曾多次受到表扬
2，他知识丰富，教学有方，上课生动有趣，学生爱听他的课。
3，他与学生的关系融洽，对学生要求严格，经常鼓励大家勤奋学习，在他的帮助下，大家进步很快
作文满分25，看看我写的能给多少分，并把我的错误找出来，谢谢！
我写的：
Dear Joan,
I'm glad to know you will come here.Mr li si about forty years old.He started teaching in 1986.He works very hard and he was encouraged many times.He is knowledgeable and can teach us in an interesting way,So,we are all interested in his classes.There is a good realationship between us,but he is very strict with us.He always encourage us to work hard.And with his help,we all make progress fast.So,i make sure you can have a good time in there and can make progress with us.
Best wishes,
LiHua

整体来说不错，但是有几个问题：
1）时态用法不对，一会儿过去式，一会现在式。
2）有的地方第三人称单数没有注意。
3）用词不灵活不多变。
4）缺少连接词。
满分25分的话这篇应该在15 - 18分左右，还有很大提升空间。
Dear Joan,
I'm glad to know you will come here to study.Mr Li is about forty years old and he started teaching since 1986. He works very hard and he often encourages us many times in class.He is knowledgeable and his instructions are vivid and attractive, Therefore, we like his classes very much.
The relationship between students and him is good,though he is very strict to us.He always encourages us to work hard, and with his help,we all make progress fast.So,I'm sure you can have a good time here and can make progress together with us.
Best wishes,
LiHua

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