帮忙改篇英语作文.急Expository Essay Mobile Phone – An Important Inven

帮忙改篇英语作文.急
Expository Essay
Mobile Phone – An Important Invention
After the famous American writer Mark Twain,who used to be high on investment to make a fortune,refused the young men Martin Cooper,a large amount of money say goodbye to him.Nowadays,as known to all,mobile phone which was invented by Martin Cooper has become one of the greatest inventions in the world,bringing many benefits to people.
First of all,it contributes to communication with families and friends.By using it,we can talk to who we want to talk to wherever or whenever,instead of sending a letter which need much time.
Similarly,it also does much good to work.Now business is inclined to be international,mobile phone is an essential tool in connection.For the other instance,you can contact with your workmates whenever you are in trouble and need them.
In addition,with technology developing,there is more and more function in mobile phone.We can play E games,take photos,and even surf the internet with this little tool.It makes our daily life more colorful.
To put it briefly,mobile phone is playing an important part in our family,work and entertainment.Thereupon,most of people can not live without a mobile phone in the modern society.
麻烦把错的地方指出来
原因最好大概说下’
不然一整篇的不好看清楚

Expository Essay
Mobile Phone – An Important Invention
After the famous American writer Mark Twain,who used to be high on investment to make a fortune,refused the young MAN Martin Cooper,WITH a large amount of money.Nowadays,as known to all,mobile phone which was invented by Martin Cooper has become one of the greatest inventions in the world,bringing many benefits to people.
First of all,it contributes to communication with families and friends.By using it,we can talk to WHOM we want to talk to wherever or whenever,instead of sending a letter which NEEDS much time.
Similarly,it also does much good to work.Now business INCLINES to be international,mobile phone is an essential tool in connection.For the other instance,you can contact with your workmates whenever you are in trouble and IN need OF them.
In addition,with technology developing,there is more and more function in mobile phone.We can play E games,take photos,and even surf the internet with this little tool.It makes our daily life more colorful.
To put it briefly,mobile phone is playing an important part in our family LIFE,work and entertainment.Thereupon,most of people can not live MUCH BETTER without a mobile phone in the modern society.