作业帮求雅思作文批改popular events like he footbal world cup and other in
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：作业帮 分类：综合作业 时间：2024/05/26 08:15:35
求雅思作文批改
popular events like he footbal world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.to what extent do you agree or disagree.
there is an universal arguement whether popular events such as football world cup and certain international sporting occasions will be beneficial to eliminate tension made by different countries.overall,i agree the opinion expressed.
on one hand,popular events promote the progress of peace.by this i mean that it removes the barrier of interpretation between individuals who do not speak same language.for example,the olympic game,provide a platform for not only altheles but audiences around the world to interact with each other.besides,there is no denying the fact that international sport meeting raised money for charities.to be more precise,poverty play a dominant role in religion clashes especially among un development countries.in addition,it opens a gap for mutual understanding,which boarden people's horizons towards cultural diversity.last but not least,government also allocate money to enhance public facilities as the gallary held.
on the other hand,despite its importance,internation occasions may suffer the potential risks as well,i am refering to the fact that criminal behavior which occurs frequently on the gym as individuals are not satisfied with the competition's result,cause blood events that is aganist with the original intention to hold the meeting.
also,it is primary target that is located by terrorists to place bombs as millions of audiences watch the competition.
in conclusion,although criminal behavior and terriosm will threaten the safe of popular events,it is also an effective way to remove internation tension.
popular events like he footbal world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.to what extent do you agree or disagree.
there is an universal arguement whether popular events such as football world cup and certain international sporting occasions will be beneficial to eliminate tension made by different countries.overall,i agree the opinion expressed.
on one hand,popular events promote the progress of peace.by this i mean that it removes the barrier of interpretation between individuals who do not speak same language.for example,the olympic game,provide a platform for not only altheles but audiences around the world to interact with each other.besides,there is no denying the fact that international sport meeting raised money for charities.to be more precise,poverty play a dominant role in religion clashes especially among un development countries.in addition,it opens a gap for mutual understanding,which boarden people's horizons towards cultural diversity.last but not least,government also allocate money to enhance public facilities as the gallary held.
on the other hand,despite its importance,internation occasions may suffer the potential risks as well,i am refering to the fact that criminal behavior which occurs frequently on the gym as individuals are not satisfied with the competition's result,cause blood events that is aganist with the original intention to hold the meeting.
also,it is primary target that is located by terrorists to place bombs as millions of audiences watch the competition.
in conclusion,although criminal behavior and terriosm will threaten the safe of popular events,it is also an effective way to remove internation tension.
popular events like he footbal world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.to what extent do you agree or disagree.
there is an universal arguement whether popular events such as football world cup and certain international sporting occasions will be beneficial to eliminate tension made by different countries.overall,i agree the opinion expressed.（同学,你的whether和will一起的用法是不对的,用are就好；eliminate嘛,是消除的意思,这样讲太绝对了,外国人不喜欢绝对的,应该说reduce；overal是在文章末尾的,应该用in my opinion,后面可以用fllowing point of view,避免重复）
on one（中间少个the） hand,popular events (can)promote the progress (去掉）of peace.by this（.没见过这样的用法） i mean that （不要动不动用i mean,那是口语）it removes the barrier of interpretation between individuals who do not speak same language（这句话是翻译器翻来的吧.）.for example,the olympic game,provide（三单加S） a platform for not only altheles but （.ALSO!）audiences around the world to interact with each other（interact就行）.besides,there is no denying the fact （there is no doubt比较好,雅思喜欢）that international sport（加S） meeting raised （为什么要用过去时?can raise）money for charities.to be more precise,poverty play（三单） a dominant role in religion clashes especially among（especially 后面应该加名词,和前面的名次平行） un development countries（没有这个说法,是developing countries).in addition,it opens a gap for mutual understanding,which boarden people's horizons towards cultural diversity.last but not least,government （should）also allocate money to enhance public facilities as the gallary held.
on the other hand,despite its（没有主语,什么的importance?) importance,internation occasions may suffer the potential risks as well,i am refering(不要用I!不能主观!） to the fact that criminal behavior which occurs frequently on the gym as individuals are not satisfied with the competition's result,(加it may)cause blood events that is aganist with the original intention to hold the meeting.
also,it is primary target that is located by terrorists to place bombs as millions of audiences watch the competition.
in conclusion,although criminal behavior and terriosm will threaten the safe（safe是名词） of popular events,it is also an effective way to remove internation tension
there is an universal arguement whether popular events such as football world cup and certain international sporting occasions will be beneficial to eliminate tension made by different countries.overall,i agree the opinion expressed.（同学,你的whether和will一起的用法是不对的,用are就好；eliminate嘛,是消除的意思,这样讲太绝对了,外国人不喜欢绝对的,应该说reduce；overal是在文章末尾的,应该用in my opinion,后面可以用fllowing point of view,避免重复）
on one（中间少个the） hand,popular events (can)promote the progress (去掉）of peace.by this（.没见过这样的用法） i mean that （不要动不动用i mean,那是口语）it removes the barrier of interpretation between individuals who do not speak same language（这句话是翻译器翻来的吧.）.for example,the olympic game,provide（三单加S） a platform for not only altheles but （.ALSO!）audiences around the world to interact with each other（interact就行）.besides,there is no denying the fact （there is no doubt比较好,雅思喜欢）that international sport（加S） meeting raised （为什么要用过去时?can raise）money for charities.to be more precise,poverty play（三单） a dominant role in religion clashes especially among（especially 后面应该加名词,和前面的名次平行） un development countries（没有这个说法,是developing countries).in addition,it opens a gap for mutual understanding,which boarden people's horizons towards cultural diversity.last but not least,government （should）also allocate money to enhance public facilities as the gallary held.
on the other hand,despite its（没有主语,什么的importance?) importance,internation occasions may suffer the potential risks as well,i am refering(不要用I!不能主观!） to the fact that criminal behavior which occurs frequently on the gym as individuals are not satisfied with the competition's result,(加it may)cause blood events that is aganist with the original intention to hold the meeting.
also,it is primary target that is located by terrorists to place bombs as millions of audiences watch the competition.
in conclusion,although criminal behavior and terriosm will threaten the safe（safe是名词） of popular events,it is also an effective way to remove internation tension