我准备演讲一篇英语稿子,但不知语法对错,请帮忙修改,注：grandma=gm mobile phone=mp

我准备演讲一篇英语稿子,但不知语法对错,请帮忙修改,注：grandma=gm mobile phone=mp
Hellow everyone.Today,I want to tell you a story about me.Last week I did a wrong thing.At frist,I went to my grandma‘s home with my dad.So,I just want to piay a game in my gm's mobile phone ,but when I was piaying the game,my closing friden gave me a call,and I put my gm's mp into my porket,we were enjoying our conversation.However,I haveforgot it.40 min later,I have to say goodbye to my friend,
cuase my dad said it's time to go home.and we've left gm's home and have already got home.I returned to my room,and sat down,but I found there 's in my poket,“Oh my god,that's gm's mb,' I shouted loudly.So,my dad heard,so he was very angry with me,I was deterred byhis expression on his face.And then,we took a taxi to gm's home at once,on the way to her home,I didn't say any words.When we arrived,my gm was also very worried.After that,in the lift,my dad told me why he was so angryed.
That day,gm called him that she felt dizzied,at 5 o'clock,then,my dad took her to the hospital at 6 o'clock.The mp is the only way that we could call each other.So if there were anying happened that we don't kown,it could be a big mistske.
So,we need to be more and more careful in our life,or a small error would change into a big problem.That's all.Thanks.

按顺序来给你指出吧
1.so i just want应该是wanted.
2.play a game in my gm's mobile phone这个有些歧议,应该表达的更清楚一些play a game installed in my gm's mobile phone.
3.closing friden少了一个d
4.I have forgot 应该改为I forget it
5.i have to say goodbye应该是i had to say goodbye
6.and we've left应该是then we left.后面的and have already got home.去掉
7.any words应该是any word
8.my father told me why he.应该是my father told me why he had been .
9.so if there were.应该是so if anything happend that .
10.it could be a big mistske拼写错误mistake
11.error应该用mistake更合适
请加分!