大家帮我挑一下这篇考研文章的毛病吧.,这是我写的,快考试了,大家有啥说,特别欢迎拍砖

大家帮我挑一下这篇考研文章的毛病吧.,这是我写的,快考试了,大家有啥说,特别欢迎拍砖
2012年的考研作文,一瓶酒掉地上了,一个人失望的说,全完了,一个人乐观地说；哦,还有一点.主题就是乐观.写一篇180字左右文章.挑挑毛病吧,快考试了,
as we can see from the picture,there are different attitude betweem the man on the right and the man on the left when a bottle of drink falling to the ground.one is sad,and another one is optimistic,obvious,the fellow who is optimistic have been apreicated by most of us.
with the rapid development of economy,competition is increasingly fiere,the hard work press on us is more heavy than before,and requirement about controling our emotion is stricter,all that call for us to form a optimistic emotion to handle our job well,it is universally acknowledged that optimistic nature is essential qualification that anyone who wants to achieve success should possess,and this spirit will help us through difficulty without suffering much pain from deep heart.
accordingly,it is imperative for us to take some measures to enhance the sense of optimistic emotion in our daily life,we should bear in mind that optimistic spirit is of great significance to both our society and ourselves,everyone should treat his future and job with a optimistic spirit and only in this way,can we achieve success quickly and only in this way,can we possess a bright mood to face our future.

显然你用心背了模板,自己发挥的地方就开始出错.建议你这样：1,用模板,不会高分也不会给你拉分,自己发挥的时候尽量也是用模版的时态和结构以避免出错.2,考研英语一个得分点是长短句交替.你长句和复杂句用背过的句子,保证正确.短句自己造,避免出错,注意时态和单复数.稳住发挥.
第一段错误：attitude-->attitudes ； falling-->falls ；obvious-->obviously ; 从这三点错误基本知道你的分数段了,后面的暂时不看了亲,加油吧.