雅思小作文求批改+评论 内容:剑桥8 test 2

雅思小作文求批改+评论 内容:剑桥8 test 2
According to three pie charts,it can be concluded that annual spending by a particular UK school changes from year to year.
Teachers' salaries were the dominant proportion in about 20 years.Over the period from 1981 to 1991,spending on this part grew by 10%,from 40% to 50%.But,it moderately declined to 45% in 2001.
Insurance spending had a slight increase from 2% in 1981 to 3% in 1991.However,there was a considerable increase in insurance spending,compared with the data(3%) in1991.It went up to 8% in2001.
Nevertheless,spending on other workers' salaries dropped year by year.There was a downward trend.It decreased from 28% in 1981 to 22% in 1991.Consequently,it descended to only 5% in 2001.
There were some similarities between resources spending and spending on furniture and equipment.They both experienced up and down over a span of 20 years.Resources ascended to 22% in 1991,6% more than spending in 1981.However,it plummeted to 9% in 2001.Likewise,spending on furniture and equipment decreased by 10% to 5% in 1991.Then,it soared to 23% in 2001.
Three pie charts depict that the major percentage of spending is teachers' salaries,which occupy about half of the chart.Other spending,like insurance,resources,will float up and down.
我觉得我的结尾写得不太好...

第一段changes -----varies
第二段spending---expenditure on this leaped by 10%,reaching the proportion of 50%
第四段There was a downward trend.It decreased from 28% in 1981 to 22% in 1991.Consequently,it descended to only 5% in 2001.最好连成一句吧 There was a downward trend,which subsided from 28% in 1981 to 22% in 1991,and consequently descended to merely 5% 10 years later
第五段experienced up and down---fluctuated,spending---expense
结尾 时态不大对.按你原来的可以改成 In a word,the most principal segment turned out to be the salaries of teachers,occupying approximately half of the overall expenditure.The fluctuation of spending on other issues,such as insurance and resources,could be witnessed as well.