求高手改英语作文（专四未过的勿进,最好指出语法或者搭配错误,不要帮我重写一遍,

求高手改英语作文（专四未过的勿进,最好指出语法或者搭配错误,不要帮我重写一遍,
Travel Broadens the Mind
Nowadays,travel has become part of life.And more and more of us have come to know the significance of travel through our own experience.In my opinion,travel broadens my mind.
I have a lot of travel experience from my childhood.My parents always brought me to the resort where they went.I favor travel from that time.That’s may be the reason why I like geography in school so much.After graduated from college,I started to enjoy out door travel,especially climbing.It is really a hard work to climb the mountain with a big bag,and we need to take all the daily-use including tent,sleeping bag,food and a lot of water,etc.The landscape when I reach the summit of mountain may be not very beautiful,but the process made a beautiful picture in my mind.My partners would try their best to help me on the way even they don’t know me.Soon,I was changed.I eager to help my partners and I would like to do everything I can for them and it brought me a lot of happiness.I kept this wonderful feeling in my mind and took them back to my city life.Meanwhile,this kind of travel also made me to be a persistent person.Because there is few people can reach the summit of a mountain if you don’t persist in it.
That’s what happened in my mind during travel,and I will go ahead to have more of it and keep what happened into my mind.

那么长5分也太少了吧.算是做件好事.:)
These days travel has become an essential part of life for many as more and more people come to realize the impacts traveling experience have brought them.My travels focus on climbing and the activity make me a better person.
My fond of travel started early with my parents taking me everywhere they went.I fell in love with geography in school partly because it matched well to my travel experience.I picked up climbing after graduating from college.Carrying a heavy bag of all necessary equipments and supplies hiking up a steep mountain ridge is a challenging activity that I really enjoy.Reaching the summit or not,the process of climbing itself is enriching enough.The activity cultivates bonding and friendship from strangers and partners alike.I also learn how to help others in the process.The excitement and learning from the activity do not end just onsite but stay with me even after I come back to everyday live.Climbing taught me many lessons and the most important among them is persistence.Summit is for those who persist.