有哪位好心人 帮我看看这篇作文 能的多少分啊 有哪里写的不好啊 谢谢乐

有哪位好心人 帮我看看这篇作文 能的多少分啊 有哪里写的不好啊 谢谢乐
Some people think the main benefit of the international cooperation is the protection of the environment, however, others believe it is the world business. Discuss both sides and show your opinion.
As is known, there are an increasing number of the benefits of the international collaboration in our society. However, there has been a spirited controversy on which is the main benefit. Some people contend that the environmental protection is the prime profit from the international collaboration, while others argue that it is the worldwide business. As far as I concerned, both views are possible and reasonable, which should depend on the cooperative nations’ conditions.
It goes without saying that international cooperation can exert the more positive effects on protecting environment. For one thing, international collaboration can conserve as much energy as possible to keep a sustainable development of the environment, without resource depletion. That is to say, the more natural resources they exploit, the less eco-friendly home we enjoy. For another, some dwellers who inhabit the heavy industry country do not suffer from the discharging pollutants any more since the collaboration, such as toxic chemicals, fumes, gases and even oil leaks.
However, the international collaboration can bring more benefits to the world commerce. In the first place, the booming of the international cooperation promotes the international trade relations, which can decline the conflict over the countries indeed. In the second place, through the international collaboration, many people always offer less tariff or non-tariff, which will decrease considerable cost for individuals and communities. Last but not least, the facts that not only can the international business synthesize the Asian and Western cultures, but also will reduce the gap between affluent countries and impoverished countries.
In the final analysis, I concede that the main benefit of the international collaboration relays on the financial circumstances of their own state. For example, the developing country constantly pays more attention to pursuit the maximal profits instead of environmental protection, which can earn more money to construct appropriate and prominent country. By comparison, in fact, the developed country need not thirst for the worldwide trade so much, therefore, they appreciate the lovely marine creature, prefer to take the fresh air and so forth. On balance, no matter what the country is, we should take the measures to save the energy and reduce the contamination in the rhythm with the development of the world business.

我看懂了应该可以得高分,不过内容在详细一点就好了特别是结束句.加油哦@.@