雅思作文批改topic:There are so little action to prevent the animal

雅思作文批改
topic:There are so little action to prevent the animals and plants from dying out.People today have known about the problem,but the action is srill too little.Why do you think people take little action about tit and what will you suggest people do?
my article:The extinction of the plants and animals has been arisen as one of the hottest issues these days.People come to realize the face that animals and plants are dying out but liitle action has been taken to preserve the environment.Views regarding this phenomenon vary greatly from each other.
Some people think it's government's job tp keep animals and plants from dying out because the living condition of animals and plants has nothing to do with their lives.Some people hold the view that although they are about the well being of the animals and plants,there is liitle action they can do about it.While the rest of the people even contribute to the extinction by make a fortune from the rare animal body parts,such as tiger's skin and tooth of elepant.
Admittedly,goverment should spare no effort to prevent the animals and plants from dying out.But this job can hardly be done unless people become aware of the importance of animals and plants and start to take care of them.What's more,laws should be put forward to protect the the interest of the animals and plants and increase the punishment on the illegal animals and plants trade.
In conlusion,animals and plants are an important part of our environment.Practical actions must be taken by both citizens and government to prevent them from dying out.
能帮忙修改下么,雅思作文,

As the economic and society continue to develop,mounting biological specials are dying out from the world.However,few actions have been taken to tackle this tough situation.
The primary reason of the above phenomenon is that people has not yet realized how seere the consequence would be if this situation continued.The problem of decrease in animal species and deforestation,if further deterated,will trigger severe natural harzards and destroy the whole ecosystem.Unfortunately,even this severe consequential problems are continuing to deterating,they have been ignored byy most people as they do not indicate evidently.
Besides,most extinction associated human activities are driven mostly by the profit.Animals are slaughted for food and medical purposes and forests are destroied for the expension of cities.Thus a large number of people are trying their best to prevent any related actions from implementing as they believe these actions will decrease their profit in short term.
In my view,the adversity of extinction of biological species is serious and if fail to prevent will destroy the whole eco-system.And it also affect the sustainable development and the stability of the human society.Given the adversity above,what I believe is actions should urgently to be taken to stop these problems from further deterating and to save humans from suffering from the problems which are ascribe to the extinction of species
我觉得你好像有点离题了,题目问的是为什么人们没有采取措施应对生物物种消失.而你讨论的好像是解决这个问题是谁的责任.我重写了这篇文章,