我想给教授写一封英文信,大意是想进入实验室做一些实习的工作,能否帮我修改的地道些?感激不尽……

我想给教授写一封英文信,大意是想进入实验室做一些实习的工作,能否帮我修改的地道些?感激不尽……
Dear Professor Li:
I am very sorry to bother you and send this e-mail, but I really wish to contact you. I am an undergraduate student . I really admire your excellent academic level and stringent academic spirit. I am writing this letter to you to introduce myself and query about if I could have a chance to enter your laboratory and volunteering for participation. Thank you very much for reading this email.
I wish to say that I am indeed interested in Biochemistry since you gave your splendid speech of this subject first time when I was a sophomore. Your impressive subject of Gene Diagnosis and Gene Chip Technology strongly attracted me. I am motivated, pro-active, and interesting in doing the scientific research type experiments in your class. Even though I am still lack of experience in scientific research, my solid theoretical background in both Clinical Medicine and Preclinical Medicine might make up for this deficiency.
As a senior student, I could also ensure enough time to engage in laboratory work; every weekend and at least two or three weekdays would be possible to work if necessary. At the same time, I have participated in the TOEFL test in August and my English is able to meet the basic demands of daily work and communication. I eagerly wish that if you could give me a chance to join your research group.
Would you please consider my application and give me a chance to try myself? Thank you very much for your kind assistance. I am looking forward to receiving your reply.
Thanks!

我不知道你的教授是中国人还是外国人,还是在国外收过教育,如果是外国人思想的话一般比较喜欢开门见山,在国外写东西也都喜欢那样,开始就直接提出你的要求,你希望怎么怎么,然后是WHY?HOW?你自身有什么条件?不要那么多客套话,还有你的英文书信格式不太对,语言我觉得无所谓,提现出你自己现在的水品就行,关键要有你自己的思想.个人见解,希望有用.