帮我看看托福作文 Do you agree or disagree with the following stateme

帮我看看托福作文
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Television has destroyed communication among friends and family.
正文：
The recent years have seen the profound changes of television system ,during which a growing nunber of people consider that the television has destroyed connection between friends and family.Manwhile,still some deem that there is nothing negative inflluence about it .I side with the former .As I see it ,Television is badly to commnunication among the people around us.
Television will make a good friend change into a stranger .Also ,the television is so charming that we can not control ourselves to stopping watching it..If we watch it too much without going out with our friends to do some outdoor activities ,the friendship among our friends will becoming much worse and worse .For example ,I possessed a good friend in my class many years ago who was very friendly to others before he has addict to the Television progamme .As time went by ,he became more and more intersted in watching the television cause he didn’t play with us any longer .Since that ,the chance of our communication and outdoor activities was less than before cause our friendship is stranger and stranger.Now I don’t see him as my good friends because of his addiction .
Television not only destroys our friendships but also our communication among our family .
Television cause we no longer spent enough time with out family and destroys the communication
With out family .if we spend too much time to the television ,the family will also be influenced.a personal exeperience of mine is that ,3 years ago ,I own my new house and felt very relaxing at that moment ,I could play everything I liked and do everything I want .I always watched television from afternoon till night instead of calling my elder family member to talk with them ,from then on I knew less and less about them and even became very strange .But since I know I did something wrong and I realized that I should talk to them more often to keep familar with them .
Though the television has a large number of disadvantages ,I don’t deny that it is still very useful and pay an important part in our lives ,such as ,catching the news and enjoying ourselves and so on.We must just use it after we have done all of the meaningful events.
From what we have been discussed above ,we may safely draw the conclusion that television will damage the connection among the people around our living circle .we should use it as less as possible .

斗胆论足：
具体内容不做评价
在从句等长句的应用,文章的整体结构方面意识很好.但是细节,如单词的拼写,词组的使用方面稍有不足有待进步.如有心注重,假以时日,必有所成