作业帮作文求修改
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/05/18 14:01:32
HI Tom i hear that you become addicted to online computer game recently . It will make you in trouble, because,our teenagers can not control of ourselves , Some people paly games day and night , in spit of their teacher and parent pervent . then ,they study and life at risk , So ,i suggest you ,my friend ,away form online games ,playing outdoors ,doing some sports , do you like pet ? keep a dog is a good choice , all in all , get some habbies which good you health . you friend li hua 请老师修改打分，还可以加入些什么提分？
解题思路： 注意句子结构的完整性
解题过程：
有些句子结构不完整，是比较严重的一种错误，标点符号的运用也要注意
下面是批改的作文，满分25的话，可以打16分，希望以后再接再厉
HI Tom i hear that you become addicted to online computer games recently . It will make you in trouble, because,引导原因状语从句，不需要标点our teenagers can not control ofcontrol是及物动词，后面直接跟宾语 ourselves ,改为句号 Some people paly games day and night ,不需要逗号 in spit of their teacher and parent pervent . then ,改为their teacher and parent’s warning So ,i suggest you ,my friend ,should be away form online games and play outdoors sports ,另起一句，要用句号 do大写 you like pet要用复数 ? keep a dog is a good choice ,另起一句，要用句号 All in all , having some hobbiesis good for your health . you friend li hua
最终答案：略
解题过程：
有些句子结构不完整，是比较严重的一种错误，标点符号的运用也要注意
下面是批改的作文，满分25的话，可以打16分，希望以后再接再厉
HI Tom i hear that you become addicted to online computer games recently . It will make you in trouble, because,引导原因状语从句，不需要标点our teenagers can not control ofcontrol是及物动词，后面直接跟宾语 ourselves ,改为句号 Some people paly games day and night ,不需要逗号 in spit of their teacher and parent pervent . then ,改为their teacher and parent’s warning So ,i suggest you ,my friend ,should be away form online games and play outdoors sports ,另起一句，要用句号 do大写 you like pet要用复数 ? keep a dog is a good choice ,另起一句，要用句号 All in all , having some hobbiesis good for your health . you friend li hua
最终答案：略