英语作文求改正Twenty years ago,he determined to leave his beloved m

英语作文求改正
Twenty years ago,he determined to leave his beloved mountains and explore the world.He left a coarse yellow paper to his parents.Yes,he left the picturesque scenery rustic,industrious villagers and his parents.In his mind,He is looking forward to the bustling city.He was agog to create thousands of brilliant,attractive lights.
With his ability,he was more capable to live in the peaceful mountain.He has got the land and plenty of crops for the rest of his life.However,he changes his mind,and decides to live in the city.He can create lights and meanwhile,broaden his outlook.
In the city,he discovered a world of flying dream.He was amazed by the hundreds level building and the world top fast cars that can dump other few streets.Behind all those things that are deeply attract him,he thought 'yes',this is the life he always wanted and he is going to open a world that belong to him.
Ten yearsfly away in the gap of the finger just like a twinkle of moment.And Jack?hefinally become a genuine boss because of his perseverance and persistence.Nowhe is driving the Rolls-Royce and living in a nice villa.There is also a fewshrewd but loyalty secretary who around him and take care of everything,proudlyride on the wide asphalt road ,his face radiant.
求该语法

was looking forward
he could have been able to live a relatively comfortable life in...
where he can create,illuminating light system
in the city he has found his niche and the paradise of his dream.
he was fascinated by a concrete woods of magnificent mansions and gallant skyscrapers and a steady stream of glamorous automobiles.
Watching all these symbols of prosperity,he made up his mind to stay here and chase the life he is craving for..
ten years slipping away ,he finally...
perseverance and determination
now he is driving his RR with unprecedented pride and confidence on the royal road to greater success.
loyal secretary who serves him and help him out with his business.