英语翻译Finally I have to make a choice.Since I have transformed

英语翻译
Finally I have to make a choice.Since I have transformed my attitude through years of consideration and meditation,maybe it's the right time for me to address all the issuses in the most appropriate and unregretful way.I know the unchanged situation used to be,which can be best described as someone who was about to fall into the bottom of the cliff,only with his hands grabing one of the sharp rocks.He didn't give up though his hands were bleeding.He had to ignor what would happen in the next minitue,because,at least,he was alive now.Maybe it was the worst dilemma for everyone.I have had enough about this kind of feeling,and furthermore,I can't wait for the doomsday coming to me without doing anything.Now I'm toleranted enough to sweep out all the blame and sorrow,with little regard to the miserable experience.What I really want to do is go all out to change this situation and avoid all my work behind the scenes to be a pathetic joke,even if it's my last try.Well,maybe it's a trategic effort cause' I'm fighting alone in this battlefield,just like a ridiculous play,but the meanning of it is that I can leave no regrets and distinguish whether someone or sth is worth my whole-hearted treasurement.I was compromising and receding and never took direct and aggresive action just for the sake of ensuring the possibility of a satisfied future,which can be once regarded as a long-viewed but in fact a conservative measure.And now,let me terminate this failed idea cause' everything can be ended up in this negative and helpless way.If all the arguing and complaining ,togetherness and departure can be sumed up as one reason,then let me make it straight.The reality force me to make a decision without any hesitation and I don't fear the outcome no matter how horrible it will be,ever.Destiney doesn't care how much I've paid,but I do.
怎么都翻译的那么不通顺呢？听着好别扭~英语强人来啊！另外第十二行的trategic应该是tragic~弄错了~不好意思

我觉得翻得还行 本身事主的思想就有点乱...
以下纯人工翻译,还请细看,
最终,我做出了决定.既然我已然经过了多年的深思熟虑进而改变了自己的态度,也许现在正是用一种最合理最不会令我后悔的方式解决问题的时候了.我知道毫无变化的环境过去常常被极致地描述为一个人即将掉进深渊,仅能将手紧紧抓住陡峭的岩石.那人不放弃,即使他的双手沾满鲜血.他只能不去思考下一秒将会发生什么,因为至少他现在还活着.也许,这正是对人而言最艰难的抉择.我已经受够了这样的感觉,我再也无法默默忍受无动于衷地等待世界末日的降临.现在,我已经再也按捺不住宣泄一切怨责和悲伤,再不愿对悲痛的经历漠然视之.我现在切实想做的事全力以赴去改变现状,将所有的工作抛诸脑后使其成为可怜的玩笑,即使这将是我最后的努力.好吧,也许我孑然挣扎的这荒诞的一幕终究是个注定悲剧的尝试,但是期间的努力对我有重要的意义,或许能让我不留下遗憾,能让我分辨出某些人某些事究竟是不是值得我倾注所有情感和精力.我一度总是妥协和退让,从未采取直接主动的行动,仅仅是为了确保能有个完满的未来.这举动也许更多的是保守腐旧,而非所谓的目光长远.然而,此时此刻,让我结束这种失败的想法,因为一切事物都能以一种消极无助的方式结束.如果一切的争执和抱怨、团结和分离都能归咎于一个原因,那就让我让这一切更直接一些.现实强迫我毫不犹豫地做出决定,我不再畏惧结果,无论它将多么可怕.命运从不关心我付出了多少,但我不同.
有些地方可能翻译得不准确,还请各位大虾指正.