急需英语3人相声一段,2个对话,一个解说也行!

急需英语3人相声一段,2个对话,一个解说也行!

今天呢,给各位说一段英语相声.
这位大家都认识,XXX我的搭档
小号吹得好! 就是最近啊,身体不好
尤其这次病的挺严重的,都破相了.
痔疮. 呵呵,开个玩笑
就上个星期吧,XXX给我打点话：走啊,一起游泳去
我说：不去! 我嫌脏,游泳池里面有很多人都在里面撒尿
他说：别怕,我们也可以尿!
最后还是他一个人去了.
当天下午3点,打电话给我：哥,带2000块赎我来吧,尿尿让人逮着了.
去把他领回来.问他怎么回事,他说：他们都在池子里尿的,我是站在岸边尿的.
过两天,他自己又去了.下午又给我打电话：兄弟.来赎我来吧,又让人逮着了
去把他领回来,问他：又站岸边尿了? 他说：没有啊.这次在池子里尿的,不过这几天有点上火,尿是黄的.
Today, I would like to present a cross-talk.
This is XXX, my partner, everybody knows him.
He blows his trumpet very well! But he has been indisposed recently
This time he’s really very sick, he’s disfigured.
Hemorrhoids. Ha ha, it’s just a joke.
Just last week, XXX gave me a call: “Come, let’s go swimming ”
I answered: “No, it’s dirty; lots of people urinate in the pool”
He said: “Don’t worry, we also can urinate!”
Finally he went alone.
Later in the afternoon at three o’clock, he called me: “Brother, please bring 2000 Yuan to bail me out, I was caught urinating.”
I asked him what’d happened after taking him back, he said: “They urinated in the pool, but I did it standing at the poolside.”
Two days later, again he went there alone. In the afternoon, he called me again: “Brother, I was caught again, come and bail me.”
After bringing him back, I asked: “Urinated at the poolside again?”
He answered: “No, this time I did it in the pool, but these few days I have excessive internal heat, my urine was yellow. ”
新灰姑娘剧本...
新灰姑娘 New Cinderella
角色：灰姑娘（戴着深度近视眼镜,满脸雀斑）,后母,两个姐姐,王子,小仙女,女孩甲,女孩乙,参加宴会者数人.
道具：深度近视眼镜两副,高跟鞋,拖把,鸡毛掸子,梳子,橡皮筋,西瓜车,SKI化妆品,音乐带,镜子,围巾,流星.
ACT 1
（灰姑娘背对着观众,拿着拖把拖地,身体夸张地跟着音乐律动,再拿起鸡毛掸子清理,后母走出来,刚好清理到她的身边.）
Stepmother: Cinderella, what are you doing? （生气地）
Cinderella: Mum, your dress is a little bit dirty. Let me clean it for you. （用鸡毛掸子清理后母的裙子.）
Stepmother: Stop it! You naughty girl. Look at my face. （拿出镜子给Cinderella看）You had better clean your face first. （怒气冲冲离开）
Cinderella: Oh! My face. What can I do? （望着镜子）
镜子：Oh ,the poor girl. But you are kindhearted.
(Cinderella伤心地唱着Star light, star bright)
Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might.
Have the wish I wish tonight.（闭眼祷告）
（这时,天空滑过一颗流星,接着小仙女跑过来,追着这颗流星.）
小仙女：My candy. My candy.（跑着跑着,掉了一样东西）
（Cinderella祈祷完毕,看到地上地东西,捡起来.）
Cinderella: What is it? SKI ,for beauty. Oh, that is for me. Thank you very much.（双手合十做感谢状）
ACT 2
（Cinderella背对观众清理房间）
大姐：Cinderella, comb my hair.
Cinderella: Yes, sister. （将大姐的头发绑成冲天炮）
二姐：Cinderella, get me a scarf.（拿出一条围巾并绑二姐未在手臂上）
（大姐和二姐站起来互看了一眼,并放声大笑.）
大姐：You look so funny.
二姐：You look so funny.
大姐,二姐：（觉得不对劲）Cinderella!
Cinderella: （没戴眼镜,雀斑全消）Yes?
大姐：Cinderella, you look so different.
二姐：Cinderella, your face…
Cinderella: I made a wish and it came true.
大姐,二姐：How did you do that?
（Cinderella 配合滑稽的音效,比手画脚了一番.）
大姐,二姐：Oh! I see. Go to your room, Cinderella. （Cinderella退回房间）
大姐：It is easy, isn’t it?
二姐：Yes. Let’s try.
大姐,二姐：（唱歌）
Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might.
Have the wish I wish tonight.
（这时,天空掉下一颗巨大的陨石.）
小仙女：My ball. My ball.
（跑着,跑着,将陨石捡起并向观众,这时身上掉下一样东西.）
大姐：（睁开眼睛）What is it?
二姐：（从地上捡起来）SK.
大姐：It works.
大姐,二姐：（抢着涂抹）Save some for me.
ACT 3
Stepmother: Mary! Judy! Where are you? It is time to party.
大姐,二姐：（沮丧地）We are here.
（大姐,二姐成为大近视眼,脸上并长满雀斑.）
Stepmother: Oh, my goodness! What’s the matter with you ?
大姐,二姐: Mummy! Help us.
ACT 4
Cinderella: （唱Star light, star bright并闭眼祷告）
（这时,天空滑过一颗流星）
小仙女： My candy! My candy!
Cinderella! Stop singing the song.
Here are the car and the dress.
Be sure to come back before twelve.
Cinderella: Thank you, my angel!
ACT 5
（宴会上,大家快乐地跳着舞）
王子：My fair lady .May I have this dance?
Cinderella: Yes, please.
（王子和Cinderella跳着DISCO）
Stepmother: Who’s that?
大姐：She is so beautiful.
二姐：I wish I were the girl.
大姐：Don’t make any wish, stupid girl.
(钟敲响12下) 时钟报时：Dang! Dang! Dang! It is 12 o’clock!
Cinderella: Oh! I have to leave now.（冲忙跑走,掉了一双鞋子.）
王子： Hey! Don’t be so rush. What’s your name?
ACT 6
（在街上,王子看到女孩子就请她试穿鞋子.）
王子：Please try it on.
女孩甲：（试穿后）It is not my size.
女孩乙：（试穿后）It is not mine.
大姐：Let me try it.（但穿不下）
二姐：It is my turn.（也穿不下）
王子：（看到Cinderella）Lady,would you please try it on.
Cinderella：Oh! It’s my shoe.
王子：You are the girl in the party.
Cinderella：Yes, I am.Thank you for bringing me the shoe.
（跑走,并唱着Star light, star bright）
王子：Wait! Wait! I am the prince. Marry me!
小仙女：（穿着Cinderella参加舞会地衣服）I do. I do.
小仙女：（拉着王子地手不由自主一直大叫I do. ）
Cinderella,!Stop singing the song and making any wish