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Today I want to introduce Zzhang Haidi called chinese Hellen Keller ,the president of CDPF . Mrs Zhang does much social work and encourages teens by speech , declearing ,etc However , if a hero doesn't suffer great diffculty ,he can't be a real hero . Mrs Zhang is a real hero . When she was five years old ,she lost the ability of walking because of the discase , so she had to move with wheelchair .But these troubles didn't make she become negative , she began to learn school subjects ,not only this ,but also she mastered many language , such as English , Japanese and Gemenish .It was 1983 that she became a translator and writer . Since then , she has created a lot of moving novels and essaies. Finally, godness gives her a reward that she become the president of CDPF. 这是题目,在批改完后还望老师帮我按题目要求打下分,谢谢。 根据下面提示,写一篇介绍张海迪的短文。 姓名 张海迪 主要事迹 5岁时,因重病瘫痪,四十多年来行动靠轮椅。自学小学、中学和大学课程以及英语、日语、德语等。1983年开始从事写作和翻译工作,写出许多感人的散文和小说。 优秀品质 做了大量社会工作。通过演讲、提议案等鼓励年轻人奋发图强。 简评 中国的海伦·凯勒。2008年11月当选为中国残联主席。 注意:1. 短文的连贯性; 2. 词数100左右。 参考词汇:截瘫病人paralytic;散文essay;海伦·凯勒 Hellen Keller;中国残联China Disabled Persons’ Federation (CDPF)
解题思路: 见下 打分21分
解题过程:
Today I want to introduce Zzhang Haidi called chinese Hellen Keller ,the president of CDPF . Mrs Zhang does much social work and encourages teens by speech , declearing ,etc However , if a hero doesn't suffer great diffculty ,he can't be a real hero . Mrs Zhang is a real hero . When she was five years old ,she lost the ability of walking because of the discase , so she had to move with wheelchair .But these troubles didn't make she become negative , she began to learn school subjects ,not only this ,but also she mastered many language , such as English , Japanese and Gemenish .It was 1983 that she became a translator and writer . Since then , she has created a lot of moving novels and essaies. Finally, godness gives her a reward that she become the president of CDPF. 1、 declare是宣告,这里的“提议案”应该是bring in bills 2、 拼写错误:disease 3、 Make后面缺少宾语,应该是her 4、 这里的not only过渡不够自然,改成:besides,或者what’s more, 5、 可数名词,加复数形式languages 6、 德语是German 7、 拼写错误:essays 8、 描红部分是错误;下划线部分是精华。 如对本题解答还有疑问,可在“继续讨论”中留言,我收到后会尽快给你答复。谢谢你的配合!匆忙中难免有疏漏,请多包涵哦。我是菁菁草老师,随时为你答疑解惑!
最终答案:略