请提宝贵意见帮忙看看有什么需要修改的地方:Dear Editor, I am writing to you about

请提宝贵意见
帮忙看看有什么需要修改的地方:
Dear Editor,
I am writing to you about activity grounds in our town.
As you know, more and more people concern about their health. They think the most important thing for them is a health body. How can we become healthy? Some people think: It’s better to see the doctor earlier when we feel sick. Some people even bought something expensive to eat. But most of the people have found that they’re not good ways, to do exercise is the best way to keep ourselves away from illness. Because it can make us become stronger and stronger.
When you go to Dongfeng Park and to the square of Dongying Theatre in the morning or in the evening, you must see a large amount of people. Some are dancing, some are doing taichi and so on. They’re so happy and they are in good condition. On the other hand, these two places are the only good places for people to get exercises. I know there are many people want to enjoy the groups. But they have no good place to do it.
This is why I write to you. I hope the Mayor of Dongfeng Town can see this letter. And I’m sure he’ll care of our health and will make more beautiful parks. Then we’ll have enough places to do exercises.
Please publish my letter soon!
Sincerely yours,
Sandy

Dear Editor,
I am writing to you about(the) activity grounds in our town.
As you know,more and more people concern about their health.They think the most important thing for them is a health body.How can we become healthy?Some people think:It’s better to see the(a) doctor earlier when we feel sick.Some people even bought(buy) something expensive to eat.But most of the people have found that they’re not good ways,to do exercise is the best way to keep ourselves away from illness.Because it can make us become(去掉become更简洁,更好) stronger and stronger.
When you go to Dongfeng Park and to the square of Dongying Theatre in the morning or in the evening,you must(must改为will definitely ) see a large amount of people.Some are dancing,some are doing taichi(Taichi) and so on(据外教讲,他们写作时不会用and so on 或etc.因为那表示你下一步不知道该说什么,建议改为and still others they+其它活动.).They’re so（very） happy and they are in good condition.On the other hand(用besides比较好,因为你上文没有提到on one hand,或干脆去掉,因为没有明显并列意思要表达.),these two places are the only good places for people to get（do） exercises(exercise不可数).I know there are many people（加个who） want to enjoy(join加入) the groups.But they have no good place to do it（用一个go比较好）.
This is（加the reason） why I write to you.I hope the Mayor of Dongfeng Town can see this letter.And I’m sure he’ll(加be) care of(about) our health and will make more beautiful parks.Then we’ll have enough places to do exercises(exercise).
Please publish my letter soon!
Sincerely yours,