请帮我弄几个英语小幽默,不要太长哦!要好笑的

请帮我弄几个英语小幽默,不要太长哦!要好笑的

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
一天,教授正在给学生们监考.他发下试卷,然后回到讲台前等待.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in.The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
考试结束了,学生们纷纷交回试卷.教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票,还有一张纸条写着：“一分一块钱.”
The next class the professor handed the tests back out.This student got back his test and $64 change.
第二堂课,教授把试卷都发回学生们手中.其中一个学生不但得到了试卷还得到64块钱的找零.
2Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved,jovial man.But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height.Or,should I say,his lack of it.One day,he stormed through the door and announced angrily,"Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless,except for the one who blurted out,"How could anyone stoop so low?"
我们的餐厅经理是一位深受大家爱戴,和蔼而又快乐的人.但在他面前有一件事不能提－－他的身高.或者,我应该说,他是有点矮!一天,经理怒气冲冲地撞门而入,高声说,
“有人拿了我的钱包!”
我和其她大部女招待都没敢吱声,但有人却蹦出一句话：
“哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的啊”!
3After being with her all evening,the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.Earlier,he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table,he lowered his eyes,put on a grim expression and said,"I have some bad news.My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied."If yours hadn't,mine would have had to!"
和盲约对象呆了一晚上后,男人再也受不了了.他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话,这样他就能借故先离开了.当他回到桌边,他垂下眼睛,装出一副阴沉的表情,说：“有个不幸的消息,我的祖父刚刚去世了.”“谢天谢地!”他的约会对象说,“如果你的祖父不死,我的祖父就得死了!”